A man was walking down the street and he saw a monkey jumping up and down on a manhole

The monkey would jump on the manhole while saying “Forty two, forty two, forty two”. The man was curious and went to investigate.

When prompted, the monkey said nothing of his actions. The man decided to do what the monkey had done, and jumped several times on the manhole saying “Forty two, ...

Did you hear about the guy who tried to kill himself by jumping into a manhole?

The authorities called it attempted sewer-cide.

I used to have a job replacing manhole covers.

That was a drain.

What did the man do after falling into a manhole?

Sewer-cide

A passerby walks past a sewer manhole and sees an old man inside, waist deep, going through the sewage...

He asks... “ What are you doing down there??.?”

Old man replies:” Looking for my denture... I accidentally dropped it into the toilet and flushed it down the drain....”

Passer: “Surely you don’t expect to find it?!”

Old man:” Of course I do, already found three, but none of them...

What do you do if a lady pushes you into a manhole?

Sewer.

If someone kills their self by jumping down a manhole...

Is it sewercide?

My favorite Irish joke about The Olympics

An Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman wanted to see the Olympics, but they didn't have tickets. They went round back to see if they could sneak in, but there was a guard at the rear entrance which is also where the competing athletes entered. The Englishman looks around and sees a long pole on the g...

It was night in a solemn street and a drunk was looking inside an open manhole yelling 25, 25, 25, 25.

A man hears the commotion and goes toward the drunk. He also looks inside the manhole to see what's going on. The drunk kicks him inside...

26, 26, 26, 26

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Taking a neighborhood walk one day, a man comes across another man in the middle of the street jumping up and down on a manhole cover

...and with each jump he calls out "21! 21! 21!" Repeatedly. Finally, after growing annoyed watching, the man on the sidewalk offers, "It's 22, you know. The next number...?" Manhole guy "21! 21! Yeah, I know. 21! 21!"

Sidewalk guy watches a little longer. "Why are you even doing that...?" Ma...

Why did Kermit The Frog lift off a manhole cover and dive in?

He was kermitting sewercide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a butt plug being used by a guy?

A manhole cover

Why are manhole covers circular?

Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture.

What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.

How are a lid on a sewer and a pair of men's underwear the same?

They're both manhole covers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks on a street and sees an open manhole

He cries into it: "Fuck you bitch!"

Then echo replies: "Bitch you fuck!"

A bit puzzled, he cries again: "Bitch you fuck!"

And a second later, he hears: "Fuck you bitch!"

Even more puzzled, he cries inside: "Fuck you bitch bitch you fuck!"

The manhole replies: "Fuck...

Why do women wear panties?

Because it's the law. The health and safety act of 1974 clearly states:

(4)(b)1: All manholes must be covered when not in use

Why are sewer covers called manholes?

If they were called womanholes, guys would keep trying to get in.

A drunk man is shouting "twenty five" while

Looking at the open manhole infront of him....
Another man comes seeing the drunk man shouting
"Twenty five" again and again while looking inside the open manhole.he asks why he is doing that...
Drunk man doesn't replies....
He keeps shouting "twenty five" while ignoring what other man ...

What did the block mason say before he fired his employee for doing a poor job making sewer covers?

I'm about to end his manhole's career

There was a body of a man found in a manhole in New York.

Authorities determined his death was a sewercide.

What does a road and a woman have in common?

They both have manholes

How did the mansplainer die?

They said he fell down a manhole. But it was a well, actually.

78!

A man is sitting at a bus stop waiting for his bus to go to work. There are no cars on the road, just a young boy in the middle of the street jumping on top of a manhole cover shouting, "78! 78! 78!"

The man notices the boy and asks him, "What are you doing in the middle of the street?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are there so many gays in the sewer?

They love entering a manhole.

The police are interrogating a suspect

Cop: “Where were you last night? And why are you covered in blood?”

Me: “I went out for a walk & tripped on a rabbit hole. Fell, got up. Tripped again on a foxhole. Got up & fell into a manhole. Cut my head on a rock.”

Cop: “Son, I think you’re lying. Your alibi is full of hole...

Man with a mission

A guy is standing next to an open manhole cover. While smiling and giggling he points down towards the manhole and keeps repeating Twenty six... Twenty six.. Continuosly.

Curiosity got the better of one drunk passerby who was slightly amused by this behaviour. He moves closer to the dude sta...

Why did the Christian convert quit his job at the sewer company?

Because entering manholes was no longer his thing.

A sewage worker has just started his first day on the job

He and his supervisor are standing over a manhole and the new guy begins to climb down.

Suddenly he looks up with a look of mild panic in his eyes and says,

"Wait, what happens if I fall in?"

His supervisor looks down and him and replies,

"Son, if you fall, urine over you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul often visits his boyfriend Richard the sewage worker at his job

He loves seeing his Dick in a manhole

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some short drunk jokes

A drunk was walking home in the middle of the night. He didn't notice one of the manholes was open so he fell down the shaft. After pondering his situation for a bit he said to himself: "This sucks. If I don't get out of here in 10 minutes, I'm goin' home."

---------

A drunk climbed in...

Nineteen!

A guy gets fired from his job, and as he's walking home, head down, he hears someone yelling "Nineteen! Nineteen!" He looks around, and some weirdo is jumping up and down in the middle of the street, pumping his fist in the air. "Nineteen! Nineteen!" Curious and with nothing better to do, the man wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/16)

Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin!

Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North K...

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