Manhole Jokes

A manhole cover

Sewer.

That was a drain.

Is it sewercide?

Apparently he fell down a manhole, but it was a well, actually.

The authorities called it attempted sewer-cide.

Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture.

What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.

The monkey would jump on the manhole while saying “Forty two, forty two, forty two”. The man was curious and went to investigate.

When prompted, the monkey said nothing of his actions. The man decided to do what the monkey had done, and jumped several times on the manhole saying “Forty two, ... read more

If they were called womanholes, guys would keep trying to get in.

Because it's the law. The health and safety act of 1974 clearly states:

(4)(b)1: All manholes must be covered when not in use

He asks... “ What are you doing down there??.?”

Old man replies:” Looking for my denture... I accidentally dropped it into the toilet and flushed it down the drain....”

Passer: “Surely you don’t expect to find it?!”

Old man:” Of course I do, already found three, but none of them... read more

And paddy falls down a manhole

Murphy says to paddy "paddy is it dark down there!”

Paddy says "I don’t know, I can’t see!"

Looking at the open manhole infront of him....
Another man comes seeing the drunk man shouting
"Twenty five" again and again while looking inside the open manhole.he asks why he is doing that...
Drunk man doesn't replies....
He keeps shouting "twenty five" while ignoring what other man ... read more

Authorities determined his death was a sewercide.

An Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman wanted to see the Olympics, but they didn't have tickets. They went round back to see if they could sneak in, but there was a guard at the rear entrance which is also where the competing athletes entered. The Englishman looks around and sees a long pole on the g... read more

A man is sitting at a bus stop waiting for his bus to go to work. There are no cars on the road, just a young boy in the middle of the street jumping on top of a manhole cover shouting, "78! 78! 78!"

The man notices the boy and asks him, "What are you doing in the middle of the street?"
... read more

A guy is standing next to an open manhole cover. While smiling and giggling he points down towards the manhole and keeps repeating Twenty six... Twenty six.. Continuosly.

Curiosity got the better of one drunk passerby who was slightly amused by this behaviour. He moves closer to the dude sta... read more

They both have manholes

I'm about to end his manhole's career

They're both manhole covers.

He and his supervisor are standing over a manhole and the new guy begins to climb down.

Suddenly he looks up with a look of mild panic in his eyes and says,

"Wait, what happens if I fall in?"

His supervisor looks down and him and replies,

"Son, if you fall, urine over you... read more

Cop: “Where were you last night? And why are you covered in blood?”

Me: “I went out for a walk & tripped on a rabbit hole. Fell, got up. Tripped again on a foxhole. Got up & fell into a manhole. Cut my head on a rock.”

Cop: “Son, I think you’re lying. Your alibi is full of hole... read more

Because entering manholes was no longer his thing.

A guy gets fired from his job, and as he's walking home, head down, he hears someone yelling "Nineteen! Nineteen!" He looks around, and some weirdo is jumping up and down in the middle of the street, pumping his fist in the air. "Nineteen! Nineteen!" Curious and with nothing better to do, the man wa... read more