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A man and wife and the captain of a small charter boat capsized and ended up stranded on a deserted island.

It was a very small island with one solitary palm tree.Each day the captain and the husband of the wife would take turns climbing the tree to look for rescue vessels.This went on for days then weeks.The captain was starting to get restless and horny so he came up with a plan.He was high up in the tr...

A man and wife go to a dance club

and there is a guy on the dance floor giving it hell. Breakdancing, doing back flips, moon walking, the works. Wife says "See that guy ? Fifteen years ago, he asked me to marry him, but I turned him down." Husband replies, "Yeah, and it looks like he's still celebrating !"

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Man and wife were making up a password for their new laptop

Man: "Hmm... I think it should be MYPENIS."

Wife types that in and stats laughing.

Man: "Why are you laughing?"

Wife turns the screen to him.

Man reads: "ERROR! NOT LONG ENOUGH"

An wealthy Italian business man and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant .....

when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s t...

Vicar: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T man and wife V W X Y Z

Groom: Why did you say that?

Vicar: Because I now pronounce u 'man and wife'

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A man and wife wake up one Saturday morning...

the man turns to his wife and says, "Honey, are you ready for our fishing trip? I've been excited for weeks.".

The woman turns over, not impressed, "you know I hate fishing. I know I said I'd go, but can you not ask a friend?"

"No, you promised! I'll make you a deal. You can either co...

Man and Wife

Man: “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

Friend: “Why not?”

Man: “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

A man and wife are in bed, when...

...when the man slides his hand slowly across her shoulders, across her waist, under her neck, under her back, & suddenly stops...

Wife: " ( In a romantic voice) Why did u stop?"

Man: "(Whispering) I found the remote. You can go back to sleep"

A man and wife are lying in bed...

The man says "hey honey, do you want to make love?"

She says "normally I would, but I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning, and that seems like it would be gross."

The man says "I understand" and rolls over.

After a few moments, the man rolls back over and ask...

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A man and wife go camping

The wife is trying to get the campfire going but all the logs are damp, so she sends her husband off to find some.

Many hours later he returns, walking as if his ass is on fire.

His wife says, 'well where's the fire logs' to which her husband replies, ' I found a store full of countr...

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A man and wife are having a stroll in the zoo

A husband and wife having a stroll in the zoo. Gorilla starts to get a hard on as he sees the wife. Husband says,"Lift your skirt and tease him." Ape goes mental. " Now get your tits out !" Ape goes berserk ! Husband opens the cage and throws his wife in. "Now try telling him you've got a fucken hea...

A man and wife went to a new dance club...

The first song was "The Twist," so they did the twist.

The second song was "The Monster Mash," so they did the monster mash.

The third song was "Come on, Eileen." They were thrown out.

A man and wife were laying in bed...

The wife leans over and slaps the man in the face. "What the Hell was that for?" He asked. "That's for being a bad lover" she said. After a while he leans over and slaps her accross the face. "What the Hell was that for?" She yells. The man said "that's for knowing the difference!"

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A man and wife are driving on the highway at night...

...when he accidentally hits a momma skunk crossing with her babies. The wife nags him to pull over and see if any survived. The momma was dead but the babies were alive and cold so the wife nags him to put them in the car to warm up and they continue their drive. Seeing the babies still shivering t...

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A man and wife are looking to spice up their relationship.

They have been married for years, and as many marriages do, things start to get dull. They decide they need to seek out new activities to keep their relationship going. They go to new restaurants, travel more, take dance lessons together, the works. But still, as they try all these new things, event...

Man and wife visit the super bull farm.

They are shown round the prize bulls. The manager shows them a great strapping beast.. this one is our gold medal bull he mates without fail every three days. The wife is impressed and nudges hubby.. nodding approvingly.
They move on and next the manager shows them the double gold medal bull. H...

Man and his wife are taking a walk...

... when they come to a house with a big vicious dog in the yard. Man calls out to kid on the porch “Hey, will your dog bite me if I walk by?”, “No sir!” Man and wife walk on by and dog runs toward the couple and bites each of them. “What the hell!? You said your dog wouldn’t bite us!!” “That’s not ...

A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"

“Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"

The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."

A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn't open until morning so they have to spend the night in a hotel. It only has one room available.

The priest says: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I'll sleep on the sofa and you have the bed." "I think that would be fine," agrees the nun. They prepare for bed, say some prayers and settle down to sleep.

Ten minutes pass, and the nun...

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