My girlfriend woke me up with coffee in bed this morning.

Now I can’t see out of one eye, I have lesions on my face and neck, and we’ve gotta buy new bed linen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful woman goes to the doctor

The doctor asks her to undress so he can start his examination. As he's feeling her breasts, he asks, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

The woman responds, "Yes, checking for lumps."

The doctor asks again, as he's feeling her thighs. "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

The...

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