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Knighted Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.

He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which...

What do you call a man who is about to be knighted?

Neil

What do you call a steak that’s been knighted by the queen?

Sir Loin.

An award given unexpectedly to only Knighted Men:

The sir prize.



Please feel free to improve this one >\_<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of how I was Knighted by the Queen

For as long as I can remember, I have had the ability to do these mind-blowing poses as I ejaculate. I became so famous for this ability, that I was asked to perform for the Queen. Needless to say, I was incredibly honoured and excited! And a bit nervous. So they flew me out to England and I was pra...

A canyon was knighted for its exceptional contribution to satire

From then on, the canyon was referred to as Sir Chasm.

What was the name of that fat man who was knighted?

I believe it was Sir Cumference

A Cow performs an act worthy of being knighted . . .

you may now rise, Sir Loin.

My friend is so successful, he does surgery, is a military general, and he was recently knighted by the Queen of England.

We call him Sir Gen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the sex addicted homeowner who hired a knighted female to renovate his house?

He contracted Sir Phyllis

It’s always been my dream to change my names to prized and be so famous and loved that I get knighted by the queen.

But if all that actually happened I’d be sir prized

The Queen of England had a gift for a man who would soon be knighted. She insisted that he be given the gift at the ceremony but told her staff to keep it a secret.

She wanted it to be a Sir Prize.

Chester was really happy, he was about to meet the Queen.

He had been a physics prodigy hailing from a small town in England, and had just been selected to be Knighted by the Queen of England.

After the ceremony, his best friend remarked to him:
"Man, Chester, you Knighted!"

King Arthur asked a wood maker apprentice to make a table.

He was so impressed with the Table Round result, that he knighted him on the spot: Sir Cumference.

Ig the Knight

Once upon a time, there was a soldier named Ig. In a recent battle, Ig showed courage and bravery, saving 20 men by himself!

To honour Ig's heroic act, the Queen of the kingdom was to knight him. Ig knelt before Her Majesty, as she tapped each shoulder of his with a sword. As she finished, Ig...

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