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Kill Someone Jokes

Can you kill someone with a throwing star?

Shuriken.

Is it possible to kill someone with a piece of Cheddar cheese?

Yes, but only if it's extra sharp.

Why should you never kill someone at the circus?

Because you'll be charged with murder within tent...

“ I swear i will kill someone if they fire me”

Said the bullet

If I kill someone durng a spelling bee contest...

can the judge use that in a sentence?

What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?

First person shooter

How do you kill someone in the medieval ages and get away with it?

Sneeze.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a man who cannot curse kill someone?

He buttbuttinates them...

Why did the robot kill someone with its empty battery?

So it would get charged with murder.

If you kill someone, where's the best place to hide the body?

Page two on Google.

Sometimes I wonder if I could kill someone, like do I have it in me to take a human life.. And then I remember...

Oh yeah, Debbie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke clean joke for my cakeday.

A long time ago in a man from a small town became a train conductor. Unfortunately the man had a severe drinking problem that impacted his work and one day he managed to kill someone while drinking at work. After an investigation he was found guilty and sentenced to death by the electric chair.
...

Mrs. Smith walks into a pharmacy and asks to buy poison

'Dear lady, why would you want to buy poison?' asks the pharmacist.

'To kill my husband!'

'I can't sell you poison so you can kill someone!'

As an answer to that, Mrs. Smith puts a picture on the counter where one can clearly see a man and a woman in bed. The man in question is ...

The word asparagus is funny.



It sounds like an Italian guy begging you not to kill someone named Gus.

Genie: Ok so you know the drill

there are three rules:
I cannot make someone fall in love of you.
I cannot bring someone back from the dead.
I cannot kill someone.
- I want to look good in my ID card picture.
- OK, there are FOUR rules...

Imagine if a serial killer would name themselves The Suspense

Everytime they kill someone, the victim would say "The Suspense is killing me".

what is the menstrual cycle?

So this dude asked his friend: what is the menstrual cycle?

His friend replied: I don't know man, but it seems very serious.

What do you mean?

I heared my sister telling my parents that she hadn't had hers for a couple of months.

Now, my sister is crying, my mother is i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to some old myths, Birth marks show where you got killed in your last life

I didn't know getting stabbed in the ass was a way to kill someone

Doctor.....i see dead people

Doctor: "okay....when exactly do you see them?"

"Every time I kill someone"

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