“Mommy, I saw you jumping on daddy’s belly last night.”
“Yes, we were trying to get rid of daddy’s big belly. I jump on him so all the air would come out.”
“Aha, I know why it isn’t working then – the woman from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping and blows all the air back into him again.”
My son is such a prick. I bought him a trampoline and he won't even jump on it.
He just sits in his wheelchair and cries.
What does the sofa say when you jump on it?
COUCH!
I was at the gym today and decided to jump on the treadmill....
People started to give me really funny looks, so I started jogging instead.
What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines??
Spring break..
A Russian Scientist Teaches frogs to Jump on Command
Altogether he has four frogs. He says, "Jump, froggies, jump."
Interestingly enough they all jump at the same time.
He cuts off their front right legs to see if they jump differently. Indeed, they do. They jump on his verbal command once again.
He keeps amputating their limbs on...
What are the chances that a gorilla would jump on a lion?
Anyways I lost my job at the zoo today.
A man was walking down the street and he saw a monkey jumping up and down on a manhole
The monkey would jump on the manhole while saying “Forty two, forty two, forty two”. The man was curious and went to investigate.
When prompted, the monkey said nothing of his actions. The man decided to do what the monkey had done, and jumped several times on the manhole saying “Forty two, ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I guy walks in to a bar. Has a story to tell.
He's sat at his local, looking kind of miserable. The barman says "Hey, how ya doin'? You don't look so good ...". The guy replies "Last night ... Last night was the worst night of my life."
"Oh really?" says the barkeep, "How bad can it be?"
So the guy tells his story:
...
What’s the difference between a trampoline and a banjo?
You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline!
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