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Hydrated Jokes

LPT: Stay hydrated and dump your old bong water

SLPT: Do that in one action

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated.

If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much.

You know how they say that the human body is 60% water...

I’m not fat... I’m just hydrated AF

Two Guys Walk Into a Restaurant for Lunch

The waitress comes to serve them and asks for drinks first.
The first guy says, “Can I have some H2O?”
The second guy says, “Can I have some H2O too?”
The waitress comes back. The first guy is well hydrated, and the second guy is well, dead.

My friend says he needs to get hydrated immediately.

Well, water you waiting for?!

I enjoy expensive whiskey the same way I enjoy beautiful women

By watching someone else and living vicariously through their experience in my imagination, even though I know I'll never have either and am likely to die alone and well hydrated, instead of in bed with a gorgeous woman and a hangover.

Just Kidding. The real answer is "With my face hole"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was walking in the desert...

A man was walking in the desert, however he is now lost. He has survived for two weeks already, but he is craving for sex. In week three he sees a camel. Because the man is so desperate for sex, he turns a bucket he collected upside-down and starts thrusting towards the camel.

The camel howev...

There were three men driving across the desert in a Cadillac.

All of a sudden, the car just stops, so they all get out and start walking. After a little bit, Guy 1 runs back to where the car was left and returns with the hood of the car.

The other two ask, “Why’d you do that?”
Guy 1: “Well, we can hold this over our heads so we don’t overheat!”
Gu...

Three guys are walking in the desert...

After they are walking for a while they start talking and taking inventory of their supplies.

The first man says that he brought a sandwich, so if they get hungry they will have something to eat.

The second man says that he brought water, so they can stay hydrated on their journey.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lizard is walking through the forest...

and he comes up to a large tree along the path. He looks up in the tree and sees Koala sitting on a branch smoking a joint.

"Heyoo Koala, do you mind if I climb up and try some?" Lizard asks.

"Not at all Lizard, my dude, come on up!" Koala wheezed while exhaling a ripe puff.

Liz...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Tourist in Egypt is walking through the desert...

A Tourist in Egypt is walking through the desert on his way from one Oasis to another.

After a while, he spots a man, sitting in the middle of the desert, looking like he was holding on to an invisible steering wheel, and loudly going "Vroom! Vrooooom!!". Confused, he stepped closer. "Excuse...

An Orchestra in Albuquerque in July

A travelling orchestra had planned on being in Albuquerque in January and Minneapolis in July. However, their manager got the dates wrong and the group ended up doing a three-day run in an outdoor theater in Albuquerque in the middle of the July heat. The event was exhausting and by the third night,...

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