Hrs Jokes - 17 Hilarious Hrs Jokes

Why does the keyboard work 24 hrs a day?

Because it has 2 shifts.

My new diet and exercise program requires me to not eat for 24 hrs and maintain an erection

It’s a hard and fast rule

Last night I massaged my wife

Italian: Last night I massaged my wife with the finest olive oil, then we made love and I made her scream non stop 5 minutes.

French: Last night I massaged my wife with special aphrodisiac oil, then we made passionate love. I made her scream 20 minutes.

Indian : That's nothing. Last ni...

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam are discussing who's religion most easily creates new converts. After 2 days they decide that whoever can convert a bear to their faith fully would win and they would return 24 hrs later .....

The Priest and the Imam are back first, the Priest proclaims to have held a discussion with a bear and it would be attending his church next week.

The Imam says he too held a discussion with a bear, but it will be in the mosque tomorrow to begin studying for it's new faith.

After a whi...

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I was in the cemetery.

I saw four men carrying a coffin round and round,

3 hrs later I saw the same men with the same coffin.

I thought to myself, they've lost the fucking plot.

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Roll play sex.

I had sex for 3 hrs today,

We role played as Doctor and Patient.

I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 57 minutes.

A Pig Walks Into A Bar,

And orders 13 beers, 5 shots and 2 large waters over 3 hrs. He then orders 7 more beers and 3 shots over another 2 hrs.

The Bartender asks him "Mr. Pig, you've drank so much! Don't you have to go to the bathroom?" The pig replies, "yes but I'm the little pig that goes wee wee all the way hom...

Joke Request: Your momma jokes. Give me your best. I want to hear them all. Best joke gets reddit gold for two months.

Oh, and one rule for the gold: It cannot be a joke I have heard before. Makes it more interesting. ;)

**GAMERMAN85 IS IN THE LEAD. GOLD WILL BE AWARDED WHEN THREAD IS 72 HRS OLD AND AWARDED TO BEST JOKE AT THAT TIME**

Did you hear about the blackout in Florida?

People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hrs

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A guy goes to an interview for an entry level position..

HR Manager: "We've done a small background check on you. Your current boss tells us that you have no technical or business skills. You report late to office every day, spend 3 hrs on lunch/breaks, 2 hrs on checking mails and remaining time on useless meetings. Your colleagues also describe you as a ...

So I met this nice girl the other day.

She said she's gonna call me after work. Poor girl...she's been working for 72 hrs now.

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3 test in hell

Three guys die and go to hell. The devil greets them and says: "to show u guys that I'm not such a bad guy, Il give you 3 test and if you pass them Il send you to heaven". The three men are very exited and ask what the test are. Well, you can do them in any order but must do all 3. One of them is yo...

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3 dogs at a vet

3 dogs were waiting at a vet clinic.

Dog1: I was a very naughty boy, I bit everyone I could and even the masters baby, I am here to be put down. What about you guys?

Dog2: Well I was a naughty boy as well, I just can't wait in one place, and I destroy everything in my masters house, I ...

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A veteran is being interviewed for a job...

and it looks like hes going to get it. When the interviewer asks

I. Do you have any medical issues we should know about?

V. When I was in the war my testicles were blown off. I take pills for it so its not an issue though. Only problem is I cant drink coffee now. The caffeine will int...

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So I hooked up with this girl the other day

After we finished having unprotected sex 3 times, she was laying in my arms and told me to tell her something about myself. I told her my nickname is snapchat. She thought about it for a second and curiously asked why. I looked at her and said because if you get pregnant I will be gone in 24 hrs

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Orange Dick Bad

A guy goes to his doctor and says "Doc, ya gotta help me. My dick is turning orange!"

Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can have a look. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange! Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a l...

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Weight loss program

Joe wanted to loose weight but he lacked the motivation to work out. One day he sees and ad in the paper, “3 step weight loss program, guaranteed to get you motivated to workout”

Joe thinks he has nothing to loose and calls the number. later that evening he hears the door bell, he opens the...

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