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Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

An couple of Swedish jokes

What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?

- No smoking allowed.

Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?

- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.

Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?<...

Why don't Harley riders wear helmets?

If you spent $30,000 on a bike and $10,000 on apparel and people still thought you were a dweeb you would be suicidal too!

Stormtrooper helmets

I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.

What’s the last big mystery from WW2?

Why kamikaze pilots wore helmets

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My father ladies and gentlemen...

So, when we were younger we used to run a single line off the back of one of the snowmobiles, put a splitter on her with two lengths of ski rope about 25' long, gear up with helmets and suits, and throw two guys on on those flying saucers, (you know, like the ones on National Lampoon's Vacation) and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Our smart devices are spying on us, and I have proof!

I used my smart camera to take a dick pic, and within an hour the algorithm started sending me targeted ads for army helmets and bean bag chairs.

A Russian spy meets the minister of defence...

The Russian minister of defence calls Boris Morozov, the best spy in Russia, to infiltrate the American army and find out why they excel so much in combat.

"Understood" says Boris. " I will infiltrate the US army for a year and then I will come back to motherland with findings"

And so...

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Translated Slovakian joke

A guerilla fighter is caught by the Nazis during the uprising and is being interrogated. In his defence he says: "look my Grandpa was a great fighter, he shot 46 Soviet soldiers, so dont kill me please!" The Nazi guard asks him: "How do you know they were Soviet soldiers?" "Well, they all had SS on ...

Vietnam veteran's hilarious true story

A bunch of US soldiers were marching across a field. One of the guys says to his buddy, "Hey, do you see where we are?" He looks around and realizes they are walking through a massive field of marijuana. The soldiers started breaking off plants and stuffing them into their clothes and their helmets,...

I know how to solve the homeless problem and make bums into hard working citizens!

Give them construction worker helmets. They already have the standing around doing nothing part down!

Topical Jokes for 10/21

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

NASA scientists are preparing for a mission to Mars by spending eight months in Hawaii. After eight months in Hawaii, the scientists will then go on a well-earned vacation.

...the Hawaii mission will help astronauts...

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A Bear and A Rabbit (Inspired by Eddie Murphy)(Long and Dirty)

A Bear and A Rabbit are walking through the woods, when they come across a magic lamp in a clearing. Upon further investigation, and only 1 attempt to eat it, they release the genie inside who graciously grants them each 3 wishes.

Bear, who lives in the moment quickly says:

"I wish th...

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