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Helicopters Jokes

A list of things that helicopters do in movies

1. explode
2.

I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban...

I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??

Whoever invented police helicopters doomed us all

Everything’s gonna happen now that pigs can fly

A Russian mobster goes to meet Italian mafia

As soon as Italians notice him, they scoff. "You're not real gangster."

"Why not?" the Russian asks.

"Do you own a 4 story mansion?"

"Well, no."

"How many limousines you own?"

"Limousines? None."

"And where is your solid gold necklace?"

"I, I do not ...

I made a book about helicopters

It really took off

What is a fleet of helicopters called?

Hellacopters

Everyone seems to be really good at spotting large Russian military helicopters....

I guess Hind-sight really is 20/20.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone that is attracted to helicopters?

Helasexual

Did you know that an helicopters propeller serves to keep the pilot cool?

Because when it stops the pilot starts sweating.

A joke from my country (Brazil)

In an international police convention, American FBI, English Scotland Yard and Brazilian BOPE are about to take part in a competition.

A rabbit will be set loose in the woods and the team that retrieves it in the shortest time wins.

First goes the Scotland Yard. They use hounds and hel...

Women say they want a man who is funny and spontaneous

But you knock on their bedroom window at midnight in a clown costume and suddenly it's all screaming and throwing things and police helicopters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The federal government gives the FBI, CIA, and LAPD a challenge

The federal government releases a rabbit into a forest and tells the FBI, CIA, and LAPD that whoever successfully finds that rabbit in three days would become the official law enforcement agency for the entire country.

The FBI combs the forest from top to bottom with their own agents, searchi...

A Russian comes home after fishing trip

A Russian comes home after fishing trip and hears the news that Russia is at war. He asks another Russian what is going on, and he tells him:

"We are at war with NATO!"

"Oh wow, how many troops have been lost?"

"Well, we have lost 45,000 troops, almost 2000 tanks, a thousand art...

A northern californian sees alot of helicopters in the sky...

...he turns to his friend and says, "Hella Copters"

Compared to planes, helicopters are extremely complex, and have to be crafted with inhuman precision...

It's a wonder they ever took off...

The Pope is saddend that he never sees much of the countries he visits and decides it's time for a change

After a visit to Berlin, the Pope decides he wants to travel to Rome by car. Off course, he didn't bring a car and so the German government seizes the opportunity to impress him with German engineering. They lend him the most powerful car they have available, with a German driver/bodyguard. And off ...

TIL For 15 years, the Swedes thought sounds from the sea were Russian submarines invading their territory. They regularly investigated, sending subs, boats and helicopters - at great expense - only to come up empty-handed.

Upon investigation by a biologist, the noise was discovered to be farts from fish.

It seems the Swedes were having herring problems.

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