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Bonsai Jokes

What do I know about bonsai trees?

Very little. (Edit: wow! Silver, gold, and platinum! Thanks, anonymous Redditor(s). And six (6!) upvotes!)

My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend

I’m rooting for him

I met a lot of new people at the Bonsai Convention.

We all exchanged pleasant trees.
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Bonsai lovers are very tolerant people.

They hate bigotry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always thought bonsai competitions were biased towards Japanese entrants, that's why I never won.



Until I saw my bigotry.

I don't trust Bonsai trees.

They are a little shady.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

A guy tried to get me into an MLM plan for selling mini trees once.

Thankfully I realized before I joined that it was just a bonsai scheme.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doing the Boss

A woman's boss calls her into his office asking her if she would house sit when he's gone for a weekend.
Accepting right away she says , "I'll make a list right now of what you'll need. Whatll you need me to do?"

"I've a mini pig that has a rash, can you rub some soothing oil on it?" The b...

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