I walked into a hospital ward today looking for a mate....
No staff around so I asked a patient in bed where the staff were, he said ' Some hae meat and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it'
So I asked the next guy, he said ' But we hae meat, and we can eat sae let the Lord be thankit'
I asked the next guy and he started singing Auld Lang ...
Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.
The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm."
Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:
"Some h...
Donald Trump is visiting Scotland...
...and he is looking around a hospital. When he goes into one ward, a patient sits up and exclaims "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"
Not knowing quite what to make of this, the Pres goes on to the next bed where the patient cries out "Fair fa' you...
A young nurse is hired at a Glasgow hospital.
Towards the end of the shift, he is assigned to a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease. He goes to greet the first patient. "Hello, sir, how are you today? Is there anything I can do for you?" The patient replies,
"Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe...
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