Est Jokes - 23 Hilarious Est Jokes

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

It was my birthday yesterday, and I received $500 from all the cards I opened.

I really love working in a post office.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who was the greatest prostitute in history?

Ms. Pacman. For 25 cents she swallowed balls until she died.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We everyone, I wish a of you ovey people a happy christmas, ive ife to the fu est, and make merry with a your fami ies.

crap sorry, noel.

Three old brothers that are 94, 96, and 98 live together.

One day, the oldest brother decides to take a bath, so he fills up the tub. He put one foot in, then stops. He yells down the stairs “Was I getting in or out of the bath”.

The 96 year old yells back “I’m not sure, I’ll come up and see”. He takes one step up the stairs, stops, and yells “Was I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman enters a pet shop to buy a talking parrot.

She immediatly sees a colourful parrot with two strings attached on its legs. She asks the shopkeeper about this one, and he says:

\- It's because this particular parrot can speak 3 languages.
\- Oh great, but what are these strings for?
\- Let me show you.

He pulls the left ...

Which letter in the alphabet is the best?

The E, because all of the other letters are Not E (Naughty).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to his psychiatrist ...

Doc, I know we covered it last time, but I keep having the same twisted dream every night. In these dreams I'm a sexual deviant, practicing sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality. Am I going crazy, or am I just beating a dead horse?

I invented a device to disrupt the watchmaking industry. I emailed a proposition to a French watchmaker. Their response?

Seiko Killer? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

American jokes?

What are some jokes told in other countries about American behaviours?

Qu'est-ce que c'est tes blauges favoris qui parlents comment sont les americans?

Please list the country that it's from. Thanks!

The Magic Slide

Once upon a time, there was a magic slide that resided in a magical forest. If you shouted something while sliding down, you would land in a pile of whatever you had shouted.

One day, a man found the slide. As he slid down, he shouted "Gold!" and landed in a pile of gold.

Another man f...

What is the loudest kind of pet?

A trumpet

I'll be at Barnes and Noble signing books

from 7pm EST, until whenever security catches me and kicks me out

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?

C’est croissant!

During a high school visit to France, I stayed with a French family.

One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to it and asked in my best 11th-grade French: “Qui est-ce?” The family’s expressions told me I needed some tutoring. Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended, I’d asked “Who is it?”

A Gnome.

A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.

"What are you?" asks the cat.

"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy.

I just love mischief!

And what, may I ask, creatu...

There’s a lot of messy sports...

But soccer is the Messi-est.

Hear are sum morre punny science jokes

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

Is Silicon the same in English as in Spanish? Si.

The last time I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction.

Chemistry puns Im in my element.

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

Ion-estly cant think of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smart man

A man had three beautiful girlfriends but didn't know which one to marry. As a t decided to give each woman $5,000 to see how they would spend it. e first girlfriend went out and got herself est, he a complete makeover. She told him, "I spent he money so I could look pretty for you be cause I love y...

A man was accused of beating his wife to death... [long]

A man is in court.

Judge: "You are accused of beating your wife to death. If you want to expect
any mercy, you'll have to give us a damn good reason."

Man: "She was so stupid, I just had to kill her."

Judge: "That is even worse. If you don't want to be declared guilty on the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar carrying an octopus

When he sits down at the bar, the bartender ask, "Hey, what's the deal with the octopus?"

The man replies, "Oh this? This octopus is amazing. It can play any instrument!"

"Bullshit, " the bartender says. "I bet it can't play this piano!"

The man flops the octopus down onto the b...

Joe walks into a bar (Long)

and sits down. A little further down the bar from him he spies a Frenchman. There have only been people from France in town once or twice before, and so Joe rarely sees them and has never spoken with them. Joe's curiousity gets the best of him, and he hops down several stools to sit next to the m...

One big happy family.

My wife and I got married last summer, we were together since we were teens, she was the only person that wanted to be with me, and she was the only one I wanted to be with, other than my best friend ofcource , he’s the only other one I’d spend my time with, and it helped that my friend and my then ...

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