Dat Jokes - 33 Hilarious Dat Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I named my hard drive "dat ass" so …

once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good Italian Girls

A young Italian-American girl was going on a date.....

Her Nonna said: "Sita here ana letame tella you about those-a younga boys.

He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat ... but don't let him do that.

He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likea d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man at my wife’s workplace has been sexually harassing her, but honestly I feel like it’s her fault.

She’s the one who chose to work from home, and she knows how I feel about dat ass.

"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "

I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London , the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Irish Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman walks into a job interview.

A Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the man says, "Dats easy."

[And proceeds to draw three trees.](https://qph.i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dat ash!

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated.

She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them.

"You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my teacher "what dat ass do?"

She sighed heavily and said,

Donkeys work as pack animals, in vineyards, agriculture, and petting zoos. They can carry equipment and supplies for day trips or overnight camping expeditions.

Furthermore, some pull carts or plow small fields for farmers. In many countries, donkeys are ...

Ole and Sven are elderly friends who die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks And go to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them

‘Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?’

Ole replies, ‘Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.’

T...

dat hyphen

A man eating fish
was saved by a hyphen from
a man-eating fish

(you might have heard it before but its new to me)

On this day, when we Americans storm Area 51, you Europeans should storm the Vatican Archives

We'll take on the aliens, you'll take on the predators.

I came to University thinking I'd get some of dat hot booty

But the only time I got some was when my fingers went through that cheap campus toilet paper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Assholes

“Bubba died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to I.D. the body. So they called up his two friends, Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe, to come and try to I.D. the body. Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet, and Jim-Bob said, "Yeh, he's burnt pretty bad. ...

Yo Momma is so ugly

The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate's been hit by a car.
Paddy: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and
Ears and I tink both his legs are broken.'
Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Paddy: 'Outside number 28 Eucalyptus Street ....'
Operator: 'How do yo...

Two Irish farmers are walking down a road towards the pub, after a long days work, when they hear a motorcycle behind them. They are totally shocked to find that when the bike passes them, the biker is headless.

The two men look at each other and shrug.

They continue down the road because the call of the pub is getting stronger.

As they go, a cyclist comes up behind them and, on passing them, he too is seen to be headless.

The two old men shake their heads and continue to walk down t...

Swedish Computer Terms

Shaemus

A tour guide in Ireland was giving his tour to a group of tourists. As they traveled down the road, Shaemus pointed to a field of potatoes. "You see dat field o'er there? I planted de first potato in dat field.. but doo dey call me Shaemus de farmer?.. I tink not." The tour continues on for a bit un...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

War - Canada vs. USA

Newfoundland, Canada, declares war on the U.S.A!!!

President Trump was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Trump, " a heavily accented voice said. "This is
Archie, up ‘ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh?
I am callin' to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Japanese name a car Datsun?

The Japanese built a new car but they could not agree on a name. They knew the Germans were really good at naming cars so they called them up on Friday and told them they need a name by Monday. The Germans said “Dat soon?!”

There was a farmer who had three daughters

There was a farmer who had three daughters and all of his daughters were going on their first dates at the same time. The farmer, being protective of his daughters, decided to meet their suitors at the front door with his shot gun.
Some time went by, the first suitor arrived and the farmer answe...

What is the Asian equivalent of John Doe?

Hu Dat

What Did The Baby Computer Say To Its Father?

Data

Why can't a nose be 12 inches

Coz then it would be a foot

Yea I'm an expert at dad jokes but am not dat funny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Irishmen on Connor's Pass...

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.

The owne...

Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf.

Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win da lottery.'

'What's dat,' says his mate.

'Send me lawn away to be cut.'

Boat for Sale!

Ole walks by Sven's house and sees a sign that says "Boat for sale". He walks up the driveway and only sees a tractor and a lawn mower. He goes up to the door and says, "Ole, I see dat sign dat says 'boat for sale,' but alls I see is a tractor and a lawn mower." Sven says, "Yup, and dey're boat for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is donkey bread made of?

Dat ass dough…

Two Scotsmen at the bar having a catch up....

1st Scotsman: Hey McBride where's Murphy?.

2nd Scotsman: Oh he's dead!.

1st Scotsman: How'd e do dat?.

2nd Scotsman: Is finger got run over by a train.

1st Scotsman: Can dat kill ya?.

2nd Scotsman: Ah no. Eee was pickin is nose at da time. 😂

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Irishmen are sitting having a pint

when a Turf truck drives by. The first Irishmen says "When I win der lottery dats what I'm gonna do".
The second Irishmen says "Whats that, drive a truck"?
"No ya daft bastard, send my lawn away to be mowed"!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Russian women are foraging through a previously harvested potato field.

One is lucky to find two large spuds. She holds them up and says,

“Deez potatoes remind me of my husbands testicles”

The other replies,

“Oh my, are dey dat big?”

“NO, dey are dis dirty”

Ole buys a new cow

Sven asks Ole "how's dat new cow?" Great he replies except when I pull her teat she farts. Did you get her from North Dakota? I did, how did you know? "My wife's from there!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. [OC]

My brother has this really annoying habit of telling me about other girls butts. Whenever we are walking in public and he sees a girl he likes, he always says, “Look at that ass tho.”

After years of getting fed up with his comments, I decide to make him a sculpture for his birthday. I carved ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.