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Haemorrhoid Jokes

I went to the haemorrhoid clinic yesterday

It was really busy, standing room only.

Why are they called haemorrhoids?

Because, asteroids was already taken.

I told my doctor that I got a nasty reaction from applying the haemorrhoid cream he prescribed.

He asked where I had applied it.

I was on the bus.

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What do BMWs and haemorrhoids have in common?

Sooner or later, every has one.

A guy suffering with haemorrhoids regularly visits his physician for his ointment application.

This time the physician was on leave for the weekend, so he goes home and asks his wife’s help to apply his ointment instead. So he gets ready by going down on all fours, and the wife begins to apply the ointment. After a while he realises that his wife is resting only one hand on his shoulder and i...

I went to a new family doctor today

I went to a new family doctor today. The waiting room was spacious, new renovation, nice and beautiful nurses. And it got a sign:

"We respect our patients' privacy, we will not call you by name".

Quite good eh, I thought.

Completed the registration, I sat down in the wai...

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Two friends Jack and John, both having piles since quite a time, met for a regular evening walk..

Two friends Jack and John, both having piles (haemorrhoids) since a considerable time, met for a regular evening walk and sat down. Jack said, "Today I met an amazing doctor, he really treated me well and my is really soothing today.". John said, " Same here friend, I too met a kind and nice doc...

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My doctor is useless.

I went last week to see what he could do about haemorrhoids. He prescribed me a packet of the weirdest pills I ever saw. They tasted disgusting, and for all the good they did I might as well have shoved them up my .

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Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...
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