Getting to Heaven.

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of sick minded friends and a cow.

A group of friends are on a beef farm and are bored and looking for something too do. The sick minded one of the group (there's always one) suggets that they should see if they can plug a cows arse. Being a group of sick fuckers, they all think it's a great idea. They go ahead and put a cork up one ...

So a new soldier gets drafted into ww1...

After the first few days I'm the trenches, his lieutenant calls the group together and says "Men, today is the day we take the fight to the Germans. Ready yourselves as we are going to go over the walls and take the enemy trench and send every German we can to hell!"

The new private looks at ...

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