Joe Biden Jokes

I forget this message.

17 are frozen and he doesn't know where the music is coming from

Neither of them respect boundaries.

"Smell ya later!"

Mainly because he also won't have an office in the white house.

Because he can’t sniff their hair.

No way would she have done that if she were still alive.

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

Joe: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,"

"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P,"

\*pauses\*

"I don't remember the rest,"

"Nor can I sing,"

"That doesn't matter,"

"You know the thing."

Space Invaders

Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.

He's always talking about his one black friend.

If he wins the presidency maybe Hunter can get a job closer to home.

They are both sweeping through the states, taking the elderly's breath away.

Not even Bernie himself could do it.

Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task

When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke.

When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.

He sits down next to her and says "So, do I come here often?"

Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump secretly have regular Zoom conversations.

Bernie: “I dreamed last night that God spoke to me. He said that he wanted me to be president.”

Joe: “That’s funny. I had the exact same dream.”

Donald: “I don’t remember talking to either of y... read more

Obama was talking to the queen of England and he asked her how she runs her country so well. The queen replies quite simply that she chooses the best people to run it. Obama considers this for a moment and then asks, "how do you ensure that they are the best people for the job?" The queen answers th... read more

He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.

Waking up every day and learning that you're the president.

Bernie Sanders: I am running

Andrew Yang: I am running

Kamala Harris: I am running

Elizabeth Warren: I am running

Joe Biden: Me too

Stairway to Heaven

But then I remembered that meant he didn't need to pay them as much

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gav... read more

Im just aBiden the law officer.

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN:... read more

Apparently he has his fingers in many pies.

The United States of America.

Because apparently he doesn’t want you to have windows.

Students start naming their favourite comedians.

Then one kid says : Joe Biden.

Another kid follows with : Donald Trump.

Political debate starts. When the teacher finaly quiets down the class there is only the person who didn't say who their favourite is, is the quiet kid.
... read more

The white house will be forbiden.

In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Clinton replied, "Boxers"

In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Obama declined to answer the question.

Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? Biden responded, "Depend... read more

...the McRib will now be available nationwide for the first time since 2012.

Joe mama.

Because when he announces it he's able to say that he's been Biden his time.....

I'm sorry

After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"

Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."

Joe Biden was trashing Trump in the presidential debates. To get out of this mess Trump proclaimed himself as the expert on COVID, got angry and accused that sleepy Joe doesnt even know what COVID - 19 stands for. Joe was seemingly puzzled that trump would ask such a simple and direct question.
<... read more

“The good news, is that Mr Putin told me that he wants peace.”

After everyone cheered and clapped in relief, he added the bad news…

“A piece of Crimea, a piece of Ukraine, a piece of Finland…”

The American says, “I can walk right up to the White House and shout 'Down with Joe Biden!' and nothing bad will happen to me.”

The Russian replies, “Guess what? I can walk in front of Kremlin and shout 'Down with Joe Biden!' and nothing will happen to me either.”

All those places are usually for Biden

Cause he worked for O’bama.

Everyone watching

The American says: Listen in my country i can walk into the oval office and i can hit the desk with my fist and say “ President Biden I do not like the way you’re governing our country”

The Russian says: i can do that.

The American says: what how?

The Russian says: i can go st... read more

Forbiden fruit

Cause he always submitted his assignments Biden.

Joe Biden announced his run for the Presidency??

Lloyd Austin is giving the President Joe Biden his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed." "Oh, no!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hand... read more

Republicans want to block their transition

The president confidently responded that the other 56% were voting for him.

Among other topics, conversation turns to Amazon and Google's targeted marketing and the methods they employ. To lighten the mood, Bill Clinton suggests that he and his former vice-president have an impromptu jam session for everyone on saxophone and bongos respectively, something they secretly did ... read more

CIA director: “Sir, we have reason to believe that the greys are becoming a serious problem.”

Biden: “Really? Come on man. I mean, my wife has said that a couple times but I think they’re OK”

DOD director: “OK? Sir, if we don’t eliminate them all immediately, we may find ourselves in s... read more

After getting processed in by St.Peter he goes to find God. He finds God in the garden listening to the birds.

M: "Can I ask you something?"

G: "Anything my child"

M: "Who was the rightful victor of the 2020 US election?"

G: "Joe Biden won fair and square my child"
... read more

All of a sudden, the doors fly open and bursting out of the building comes a Russian Army general, muttering to himself:

"That idiotic, delusional, ridiculous old clown of a president! Why doesn't he just do us all a favour and throw himself out of a window?!"

The secretary thought to ... read more

Trump asks: Barack, your approval ratings are pretty high. I love ratings bigly. Can you give me some tips?

Obama: The key is having a strong administration. I make sure that my administration not only works hard but is also composed of smart people.

Trump: What do you mean?

Oba... read more

Joe Biden has really over done it with his global warming plan.

"OK, look, here's how it's going to go. I can only grant three wishes, so one of you will get two and the other will only get one. And since you're already men of power and means, you have to choose wishes that will serve your constituents."

Abbott immediately screams that he wants the two... read more

The new contestant sits on the chair. He just grunts at the host's introduction questions, so they get straight to the game.

First question - Which city is the capital of Bulgaria:

* A. Sofia
* B. Moscow
* C. London
* D. Paris

Respondent: "I'd like to ask the audience."... read more

Joe finishes at just under 11 minutes, but Barack is waiting for him at the finish line already.

"what time did you get?" asks Joe.

"I ran pretty well, did under 10 minutes this time", answers Obama. "By the way, what's the standing record amongst the presidents now? Bill at 9 and a h... read more

A time traveler goes to the past and squishes a bug by accident,he goes back to the future and finds a woman on the sidewalk,he asks her "Who is president?" She replies with "Joe biten." He then says "You mean joe biden?" She shook her head and pointed behind him..there was a bulldog in a suit. "Joe... read more

The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.

The year is 2024 and it’s time to decide a new President of the United States. There are three candidates for the American people to choose from: Joe Biden, looking to hold onto the Presidency, Donald Trump, looking to regain it, and Obama in a sombrero and fake moustache calling himself “Juanbama”.... read more

partially because I'm not American, but he will be the president of the united states.

They find three parachutes.

Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, “The world needs a great person like me!”

Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. 

At this point, the Po... read more

As they are waving to everyone, Biden leans towards Trump saying,

“Did you know, that with one little wave of my hand, I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? Also, this joy will not be merely a momentary display, like that of your followers, but will go deep into their hearts... read more

I'm sure Joe Biden feels the same way.

Does the coloring book come with crayons?

If you’re red, and you fail to take care of your voters during a respiratory virus pandemic...they turn blue.

...to change his name to Joe Biden

Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.

To make America great again.

At least not till January which won’t come soon enough.

1. Kanye West,
2. Bill Gates,
3. Donald Trump,
4. Joe Biden,
5. and a school girl

Suddenly the plane developed a technical snag and only 4 parachutes were available.

Kanye says, "I am world's greatest talent. I must live." He takes a parachute and jumps.

Gates say... read more

No seriously guys he's not my president. Im from Nepal. I didn't vote for him.

P.S. Congrats US for taking the first step towards undoing the 4 years of chaos.