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Garter Jokes

A lady and her butler

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off.

She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, the wife didn't have a good time at the party, so she came home ear...

New dog

My friend told me he had a new dog so I went to see him. When I entered his house the dog greeted me in a friendly manner, wagging its tail, then it suddenly said: "The British Empire!".

I was taken aback and thought I must be hearing things, when the dog spoke again: "The Thistle! The Garte...

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She said she was stripping to feed her kids.

Yet she got pissed at me when I stuck a can of green beans in her garter.

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A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.

She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?" "I just saw one of your garters!" he replied. "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for two days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realising she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the v...

The rich lady comes home after a day of shopping,

when she stumbles on one of her many servants in the hallway. She looks at him head to toe, and demands:

\- Come here.

The servant, heads down, obeys.

\- Take off my jacket.

Hands shaking, he obliges.

\- Now... Take off my dress.

Slowly, he does so.

\...

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It’s a post office workers last day delivering mail.

At each of the houses he gets a little present.

At one house, a lady opens the door only wearing a garter belt and stockings.

She gives the mailman a long kiss, walks him upstairs and gives him a ride to remember.

Afterwards, she makes home a nice lunch and gives him a dollar bi...

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A man comes home...

To find his wife sitting seductively on the couch in sexy lingerie. She looks at him coyly and asks, "Have you ever seen a dollar all crumpled up?"

The man replies, "No..."

His wife reaches near her breast and pulls out a crumpled up $1 bill. She then asks him, "Have you ever seen fift...

Police do a good deed

I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don’t care about others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows “not all cops are in that category”.

This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX. which reported ...

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A man goes to see his priest.

"Father I'm getting audited by the IRS and I don't know what to do. My accountant tells me to dress modestly but my lawyer tells me to dress to the nines and wear my most expensive watch to show I'm not afraid. "

"Son, this reminds me of a girl that her mother told her to dress in a gown tha...

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