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Suspender Jokes

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What do you call a stripper who wears suspenders?

Strapped for cash

Coworker: Why do bad guys always wear suspenders?

Me: So they don't get caught with their pants down.

(This happened a couple days ago, I was pretty proud. He legitimately was just asking the question)

Why do the ISS astronauts wear suspenders?

Because their pants are constantly falling down.

My favorite clean joke - the Old Man and the Ferrari

A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at ...

Why don’t suspenders make good singers?

Because they don’t know how to belt

Police want to interview a man suspected for a string of robberies wearing stockings and suspenders.

However, the Chief Constable has insisted they wear their normal uniform.

What was the inventor of suspenders awarded for their discovery?

The no-belt prize.

What did the suspenders say to the trousers?

What's up, britches?!

Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested?

A: Because they held up a pair of pants.

What was the punishment for the Amish boy who went streaking at school?

He got suspendered.

Guy in a Lamborghini

Guy's driving down the road in his new Lamborghini. Stops at a light next to an old man on a moped.

The old man looks over and says "Say, that's a pretty spiffy looking car there, son. It looks fast."

Guy says "It sure is."

Old man looks at the interior and says "Looks luxurious...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The local hot shot had never lost a drag race.

He had a souped up little dragster he pieced together himself. It was an old Honda, sure, but this guy had tuned it to perfection. Not only that, he'd squeezed every ounce of horsepower out of it possible: straight pipes, turbo, the works.

There's a straightaway on a back road where all the l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A door to door salesman is doing his rounds

He knocks on a door that’s promptly answered by a 14 year old boy wearing stockings and suspenders and a lace bra and panties. The boys drinking a glass of cognac and smoking a fine cigar.
The salesman asks “Son, are your parents home?”
The boys replies “What the fuck do you think”

Your mother is so fat

Her chins wear suspenders.

(Hope its original, I just thought it up. If not, I can live with it.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich guy buys a new car

A rich guy buys a new car , the newest Ferrari model with the maximum speed of 400 km per hour, very proud of this new car he decides to take it
for a spin.He drives around for a while until he runs out of gas, he pulls over to the nearest gas station and fills up the car and then goes back in to...

The Race!

Johnny was 16 years old and wanted a motorcycle really bad. But his parents said he couldn't get one until he graduated from high school. So, he saved up all his money, and when graduation day came, he threw his graduate cap up in the air and walked right down to the nearest Harley Davidson dealer a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Long) A guy driving a brand new convertible Corvette stops at a gas station to fill up on his inaugural drive

(This is my dad's favorite joke)


He gets out of the car, throws a hundred at the attendant to fill it and tells him to make sure not to scratch it, then goes inside to buy some snacks. While he's inside, an old hillbilly wearing an old tatter shirt with suspenders putters up to the gas st...

My rich cousin's hummer-porschaghini (Long)

So I have this cousin who is absolutely loaded and he had this idea he would pay the best mechanic around to build him custom car.

He wanted the body of a Lamborghini, with the engine of a Porsche, and all the amazing features of an original hummer. He decided to call it the Hummer-porschagh...

A man was driving in rural Pennsylvania

When he saw what looked like a Mennonite up ahead on his bicycle.

“I’m gonna play with this guy,” he thought, as he stepped on the gas to give the poor Mennonite a scare and show him who the king of the road is. WHOOSH, he blasted by the poor, helpless bike rider.

As he was having a ...

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