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Sauron Jokes

Sauron is a great name

It has a nice ring to it

Sauron tortures a hobbit.

Sauron captured Bilbo Baggins and tried to torture him to tell where the magic ring was hidden. Soon the hobbit blurted out "I think Gollum has it!"

Then Sauron captured Gollum and tortured him, but the old evil and corrupted hobbit wouldn't talk.

It turns out bad hobbits are hard to...

Saruman's fortress has only one gate, but Sauron's realm has multiple gates

Sauron has more doors.

How did Sauron lose weight?

He ate in Mordoration

When does Sauron answer his phone?

On the one Ring

Where does Sauron go for Medicare?

The I seeeeee youuuuuuuuuu

Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe?

More doors.

How did Othello enter Sauron’s kingdom?

Through the Moor door.

Where did Sauron go to take his driver's test?

The Department of Mordor Vehicles

What is Sauron’s favorite brand of cell phone?

Mordorola

Where does Sauron save his notes?

On an eye pad.

Why did Sauron rebuild his tower?

It needed more door.

Why did Sauron start knocking down walls in his house?

Because he wanted more doors.

Why was Sauron always adding entrances to his tower?

Because he lived in Mordor.

How does Sauron motivate his army?

With Mordor-vation!

Guy: I'm writing "Transformers": a crossover fanfic where Othello encounters Sauron...

Other guy: "why's it called "Transformers"?"

Guy: Moor then meets The Eye

What did Sauron say when he got to the hospital with severe covid symptoms?

ICU

What is Sauron's favorite birth control?

Nuva Ring

What do you call a reference to the Eye of Sauron?

An optical allusion.

The hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, sat in Fangorn Forest to hear the first annual post-Sauron "Ent Comedy Jam" .... (An original LOTR-themed meta-joke for you.)

The hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, sat in Fangorn Forest to hear the first annual post-Sauron "Ent Comedy Jam."

With them was Gandalf, returned from over Sea with Frodo in tow just for the occasion. No one in living memory – at least now that the elves were all in the Undying Lands to...

What's Sauron's favorite soft drink?

Mountain Dewm

What kind of dog does Sauron have?

A La-Barad-dûr

Yo mama so dumb...

...she argues endlessly that Frodo could have just ridden a giant eagle into Mordor and dropped the Ring into Mount Doom from the air, even though all the characters in the book say over and over again that Sauron can SEE EVERYWHERE and that stealth was their only hope of getting anywhere with the R...

A young Sauron turns in his homework...

His teacher looks at it and her face scrunches up in confusion as she rotates the paper to read the text.

"Sauron," she says, "why is all the text on these pages going in circles?"

"Oh," says Sauron, "I didn't have any lined paper so I had to make my own."

"But why does it go in...

An old Harry Potter joke

Voldemort goes and knocks on Snape’s door.

“Who is it?”

Voldemort: “THE DARK LORD!!”

Snape: “Sauron?”

Voldemort: “No no, the other one”

Snape: “Vader?”

Voldemort, irritated, thunders: “THE ONE YOU FEAR THE MOST!!”

Snape, confused: “Hermione??”

When constructing the Black Gate...

Minion: "Is this too big? Do we need less door?"

Sauron: "No, Mordor."

How do Orcs of Mordor preserve their meat?

They use Sauron wrap

Fellowship of the ring

As the fellowship of the ring was being formed Bilbo had been eavisdropping outside of the meeting, not being able to help his curiosity.
He had heard young Frodo take upon himself the burden of the ring, Sam, Merry and Pippin joining him on the foolish quest. Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir ...

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