Garbage Can Jokes - 35 Hilarious Garbage Can Jokes

What do you call a conversation between two garbage cans.

Trash Talk.

Garbage can

An old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came dow...

What’s worse than 3 babies in 1 garbage can?

1 baby in 3 garbage cans!

Wife: "I have a lot of my own clothes I'd like to donate."

Husband: "Why bother? It's easier to throw the clothes in the garbage can."

Wife: "Don't be selfish! There are so many poor people who have no clothes and are starving."

Husband: " Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving..."

I keep trying to throw out my garbage can

But the garbage men keep emptying it and leaving it there

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A gambler gets a notice from the IRS that he’s being audited.

The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the agent looks over his paperwork and says:

“The reason for your audit is that you live such a lavish lifestyle, yet not much income to justify it. Can you tell me what you do for a living...

Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better.

But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.

I've been trying to throw a garbage can away for three weeks...

but they won't take it.

I bought a new garbage can. My friend asked why.

I replied, "My old one was trash."

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into an office to discover the trash can is on fire.

The physicist announces "We must put the garbage can in the fridge so that the temperature will be below the ignition temperature and therefore put itself out!"

The chemist replies "No, we must cover the garbage can so that the fire consumes all of the oxygen and, in the absence of re...

An interesting comparison between the love of my life and a garbage can.

Many men put their junk inside.

What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans?

It was Bin Laden

I had a friend over to my house and he told me he could hear my garbage can chattering away. He asked me if I knew what it was saying?

I told him I did not know, as I never listen to trash-talk.

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a statistician all walk into different rooms, each containing a bucket of water and a garbage can that is on fire.

The engineer walks into his room. He sees the fire, then sees the bucket. He immediately grabs the bucket and dumps the whole thing on the fire to put it out.

The physicist walks into his room and sees the fire and bucket. He takes out a sheet of paper and calculates exactly how much water he...

Just because you are trash doesn't mean that you can't do great things.

It is called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

I keep a garbage can at the end of my driveway that some guy throws trash into almost every day. It's worth it because sometimes he leaves a present in it for me.

My neighbor calls him "the male man" which is silly since he's obviously not a "female man".

Physics vs Philosophy

The physics department of a college seeks funds to buy a cyclotron.
"This is millions and millions of dollars!" says the Dean.
"That's our microscope," says the physicist. "We can't do our research without it."
"Why can't the physics department be more like the mathematics department?...

I don't know which is scarier....

A clown who rummages through the garbage cans at 3am or my neighbor who watches me doing it.

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Blonde Joke

Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" ...

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The old man at the IRS office

An 80 year old gets a summons from the IRS to appear at the offices to discuss large deposits coming into his accounts that don’t appear on his tax filings..

The old man is a bit nervous and he hires a lawyer to assist him...

He arrives Monday morning and goes into the interview room.....

2 Boys decided to play hide and seek

Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and b...

A rope walks into a bar

A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind 'round 'ere!" and tosses him out.

The rope, really in need of a drink since his main string just left him for a lasso, ties himself in a knot over sorrow, throws himself on the ground, and rolls do...

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Just another Johnny joke

One day while Johnny's dad was just getting out of the shower Johnny looked down and said, "Dad what's that hanging between your legs?"

"Oh Johnny that's my nerve and your's will be this big one of these days", replies Johnny's dad.

Anyway the next day while in school Johnny really had...

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Guy takes his best mate home to meet his wife:

His wife holding a crying baby in one arm screams,"You fucking dickhead, my hair and make-up are a mess, the house looks like a garbage can, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my night clothes, I can't be bothered to cook and it's my time of the month!. Why the fuck did you bring him home? The hus...

A man was helping his friend clean out his garage.

He noticed an amazing looking belt in the garbage can. It was black, with numerous stars and galaxies etched into it in intricate detail.

"Why are you throwing this out?" He asked.

His friend replied, "It is just such a waist of space."

Ghetto camping terror.....

The year was 2009. My son, one of his friends, and I were ghetto camping.

That's when you pitch a tent in your backyard. Or in my case the neighbors yard.

Telling some really horrible ghost stories, when out of no where, an animal started rustling around by the garbage cans.

M...

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An old man gets a call from the IRS

The IRS agent questions the old man about large sums of money going in and out of his bank account, so they end up setting an appointment the next day to discuss in further detail. The old man agrees, and then hires a lawyer just to make sure everything going smooth at the appointment.

So th...

Three people are running from the cops.

Three people are running from the cops. The first hides behind a fence, the second behind some garbage bags, and the third in a sack of potatoes.

The cops walk by the fence and hear "ruff ruff" so they think "oh, it must just be a dog" and walk by.

The cops walk past the garbage cans a...

A store for wisdom

Dr. Who was traveling through time and space, when he came upon a cache of the universe's best wise sayings. He loaded them into the Tardis and decided to set up a shop on a nice little corner just outside of reality to sell the sayings to the great thinkers and writers of all time. He advertised hi...

A man is walking down Main Street in a small town, browsing the shops.

He goes into a curio shop, and peruses through all the knickknacks. In front of the register, there is a glass case with several expensive items. One item catches his eye; a little gold rat, slightly smaller than the real thing. He asks the shopkeeper what's the deal with the gold rat.

"Ahhh,...

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Old man

An 80 year old man gets a letter from the IRS saying to call their office as soon as possible. The old man picked up the phone and called the IRS and an agent says that he noticed some irregularities with his money where there was a large amount of funds going in and out of his account and he needs ...

Of course Goldman Sachs called their clients "muppets"

Some of them ended up living in garbage cans.

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My brother, the jackass, and the theoretical blind kid.

My brother came home from middle school one day and I could tell he was very upset. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that between classes he stopped in the restroom to take a piss and he set his brand new binder on the counter next to the sink before doing his business. Some asshole kid came i...

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The Story of Ivan Ivanavich (Warning: long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day Ivan decided it was time to ...

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