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Freudian Jokes

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How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis.

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Freudian Slip...

A guy sits in his seat on an airplane, red-faced, and turns to the guy next to him. "Oh man. I just made the worst Freudian slip. The ticket agent was really well-endowed and instead of asking her for a ticket to Pittsburg, I asked her for a picket to tittsburg. So embarrassing!"

The guy he's...

What is a Freudian slip?

A Freudian slip is when someone says one thing when thinking of amother.

You know what a freudian slip is?

It’s when you mean to say one thing, but then you say ~~your mother~~ another.

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Freudian Slip

Two men are sitting at a bar, both of them have a fresh black-eye.

First guy: (pointing at shiner) **So what happened to you?**

Second guy: **Freudian slip**

First guy: **What's that?**

Second guy: **That's when you accidentally say what you're thinking subconsciously, I ...

My wife made a Freudian slip while we were making love.

She said, "Yes! Oh yes! Oh my God Sigmund!!"

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Freudian slip

A guy is talking to his buddy.
\-I made a total fool of myself today. I was talking to a very well endowed young woman at the airport and I said: "I need two pickets to Tittsburgh." She was embarrassed and so was I.
His buddy replies:
\-Yeah, it's called a Freudian slip. I had one...

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Freudian slip

Two dudes were discussing psychology and Freudian slips.

The first dude said, “ I went shoe shopping the other day. The lady who was helping me had a huge rack. Her tiny blouse was revealing. When she asked me what I was looking for I told her a pair of boobs. I was embarrassed becaus...

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Freudian Slip

A man is waiting in line at the bus station. He finally makes his way to the attendant and notices she is well endowed and certainly showing it. He avoids looking at her breasts and promptly states "I'd like a picket to Titsburgh." Realizing his mistake he grows red with embarrassment. After purchas...

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Freudian Slip

My coworker and I were talking the other day, and he mentioned a conversation where he accidentally said 'boob' to his girlfriend when asking her if he could hold her 'bag' while she visited the restroom at the nightclub they were at.

I said, "Yeah, that's called a Freudian slip. It happened...

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What's a Freudian slip?

Two old men are playing a round of golf. One says, "in my old age, I find myself making more Freudian slips." The other says "what's a Freudian slip"?

The first man says, "is when you intend to say one thing, but actually say what you were really thinking. Like the other day, I had a new secr...

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Freudian Slip

A man is going through an airport after buying his ticket, and he walks over to a friend with his head down.

"Ah man, I can't believe what just happened. I had a Freudian slip. Do you see the ticket agent with the huge cans? I accidentally asked her for two pickets to titsville."

His ...

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Freudian slip.

So this guy says to his mate that he had a Freudian slip recently. The friend hasn't heard of this before and asks him what he means. So the first guy says: "well it's when you mean to say one thing but instead you say what's on your mind- it's better if I give you an example: The other day I was...

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Freudian slips

Jeff and Bob were talking about Freudian slips

Jeff: Man I was trying to order two tickets to Pittsburgh from this big breasted woman and accidentally said "Two pickets to Tittsburgh!" I was mortified.

Bob: Oh, that's nothing. I tried to ask my wife Karen to pass the salt at dinner th...

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What time of day is best to make a Freudian Slip?

First thing in the morning, when the Cock grows.

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Freudian Slip

Tim needs to get to Cincinnati. He decides to take a train. When he walks up to the ticket counter the woman behind the counter had huge breasts. He tells her " I would like Cicket to TITSanati, um I mean a Ticket to Cincinnati." The woman blushes and laughs it off. Tim gets his ticket and boards t...

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My therapist said my Freudian slips make her uncomfortable

Boy, if I had a nipple for every time I've been told that...

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Freudian slips

A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says "Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about Freudian slips? " "Well, I had the most amazing one last night". I was eating dinner with my wife, and I meant to say "would you please pass the salt dear?". But instead, I said "You God damn bitc...

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Freudian Slips

2 construction workers are standing at the pub. One of them says, 'Oh man, I made the worst freudian slip the other day!' The other one says, 'Why? What happened?' The first man says, 'I was buying a plane ticket to Pittsburgh, but the woman working the ticket stall had big boobs. I was going to say...

A man with no carnal desires walks into a Freudian psychoanalyst's office

The psychoanalyst stops him and says, "hey, buddy, I'm gonna need to see some id."

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Freudian Slip

One friend says to the other "Wow dude, i have to tell you an embarrassing story"
"Sure..What is it?"
"Well, I just had the worst freudian slip experience. I recently had to go on a business trip to Pittsburgh and when I went to the counter in the airport to buy the ticket, the lady working ha...

My obsession with carbon borders on Freudian.

I guess you could call it a carbon fixation.

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Two psychiatrists were having lunch and talking about Freudian slips.

Shrink 1: Let me tell you about my Freudian slip when I ate dinner with my mother last night.

Shrink 2: Ooh yes, tell me.

Shrink 1: I meant to say, "Mom, please pass the salt "

Shrink 2: Yes, yes, what did you say instead?

Shrink 1: Well, I meant to say "Mom, please p...

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Freudian Slip

A guy is talking with his buddy and says I've been making alot of Freudian slips lately. The other day I was at the train station and there was a beautiful woman behind the ticket window with huge breasts. Instead of asking for a ticket to Pittsburgh I asked for a picket to Tittsburg.

Wow, sa...

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Freudian slip

A man was waiting in line to buy a train ticket for himself and his friend. When he was almost to the front of the line, he noticed that the person selling the tickets had a rather nice, large pair of breasts. When it was his turn to buy the tickets, he accidentally blurted out "Two pickets for Titt...

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A man with a black eye takes his seat on the plane, when he notices that the man next to him also has a black eye....

"How did you get yours?" He asked

"A Freudian slip at the ticket gate," he replies "the girl selling the tickets was beautiful busty blonde. When I meant to ask for a ticket to Pittsburg, I accidentally asked for a picket to Tits-burg and she clocked be right in the eye. How about you? How'd ...

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What Rhymes with “Freudian slips”?

“My mother’s tits”, oh shit I meant to say paper clips

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Freudian slip

A man is sitting in the waiting area of a bus depot when another man sits next to him, shaking his head and gently chuckling. Unable to keep his amusement to himself, he turns to the first man and asks "have you ever had one of those moments where you mean to say one thing but you accidentally say s...

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Freudian Slip

A man walks up to the bar to order a pint. The barmaid comes to serve him. She is well endowed in a low cut top. He finds them distracting.
He says to the barmaid "Can I have a pint of breasts please?
Realising what he has said he apologizes and asks for a pint of Guinness. The barmaid passe...

What do you get when you cross an idiom with a Freudian slip?

Six of one, and a half dozen of your mother.

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Freudian Slip (possibly NSFW)

Two friends were chatting it up, as friends often do, when one brings up Freudian Slips. He says, ”The craziest thing happened to me the other day. I was going to the big game with my son, and we finally got up to the ticket window. You would not believe the size of the tits on the lady working the ...

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Freudian Slip

Two friends are at a bar talking about embarrassing situations they've had. The first friend says "Man, last week, I had a really bad Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my fiancée and her mother and our waitress at the restaurant was really curvy and attractive. While ordering I meant to ask...

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Freudian Slip

Two men are sitting at a bar together, one with a black eye, having a pint. Eventually the unbruised one asks his friend about the eye.

"Ah, I had a bit of a Freudian slip this morning. I needed to buy two train tickets to Pittsburgh, and the girl behind the counter had ENORMOUS knockers. ...

Freudian Slip

One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very worried and nervous look, and a another priest saw him and wondered what was wrong.

The second priest thought he should try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and asked him what was wrong. "Well" the first priest said, ...

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I had a freudian slip this morning

Instead of asking my wife to pass the milk I accidently said "God damn it, bitch you’re ruining my life!"

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The problem with Freudian slips

Two men were sitting around chatting, when the topic of slips of the tongue came up.

The first man said: "The other day I was at the airport, and the girl at the desk was a gorgeous redhead with a D-cup in a *very* tight sweater. What I meant to say was: I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh. Wh...

What does the Freudian monk chant while meditating?

MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!





(Sorry if repost, I just thought of this, but I can't be the first)

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Classic Freudian Slip

Two guys are chatting over a beer. One of them tells the other,
"Man, I had the most embarrassing thing happen to me a few weeks ago - a classic Freudian slip - I was at at the airport and I swear, the gal the behind the counter had the biggest rack I've seen in a long time, and so, instead of s...

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Freudian slip

A couple goes to therapy to try and solve some problems in their marriage.

The counselor says that maybe by recounting their morning routine, they can find some unconscious signs revealing deep-set issues.

The husband responds,

"Well, this morning, something peculiar happened....

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Freudian slip

Two friends were talking, and one mentions to the other

"Man, I made a Freudian slip the other day at the airport. You know when you try to say something but accidently say something else that was on your mind?
I went to buy the plane tickets and the lady behind the counter had huge tits, ...

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My pencil isn’t prone to making Freudian Slips

but my penis

I heard a Freudian slip once...

He broke both his arms.

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I went skating on Freudian ice today.

I slipped and fucked my mother

A Freudian Slip:

What all the Jung ladies are wearing.

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Freudian slips

Are just a figment of peoples ejaculation.

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My wife has a sexy nightgown that I like because it reminds me of one my mom used to have.

I call it her Freudian slip.

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A Freudian slip is when you say something by mistake that gives away

What you were really wanking about...I mean thinking about.

-Ricky Gervais

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A man and his friend are having coffee one morning when the friend brings up the definition of a Freudian slip...

A man and his friend are having coffee one morning when the friend brings up the definition of a Freudian slip. The man asks what this "Freudian Slip" is and his friend describes it as this: "It's when you mean to say one thing, but another word comes out. For instance, the other day I was trying to...

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2 men are talking about Freudian slips...

... one says to the other, "I made the worst Freudian slip the other day. I was trying to buy train tickets from this beautiful female conductor. She had these really huge breasts, so I meant to say 'I would like two tickets to Pittsburgh', but instead I said, 'I would like two pickets to Titsburgh....

How do Freudians describe the human mind?

As a huge ENEMA, I mean huge enigma.....

I like my memes the way I like my freudian slips

Send dudes

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