A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said,

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he...

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There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

...

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A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder.

He reached a cloud, upon which was sitting a rather plump and very ugly woman.

"Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.

No contest, thought th...

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I looked deep into her eyes

And my legs grew weak at the knees, my heart fluttered, and the butterflies started in my stomach.

I knew, in that moment, I'd roofied the wrong glass...

I was eating lunch in the park...

...when all of a sudden a crow landed in front of me and promptly keeled over on its side. I set my lunch down and leaned forward to see what the matter was.

In that moment, an owl swooped in, plucked my sandwich off the bench, and carried it up to the treetop above me. Imagine my further sur...

Three little ducks walk into a bar...

"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.

"Huey," was the reply.

"How's your day been, Huey?"


"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.

"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender....

Dad why did you name me rose?

Child 1: "Dad why did you name me rose?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little rose petal fell on your forehead, it was such a beautiful moment."

Child 2: "And why did you name me Lily?"

Dad: "Because when you were born a little Lily fluttered onto your forehead"

Chi...

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There were two nude statues...

There were two nude statues, man and woman, standing across from each other in a secluded park. A few hundred years after they've been put in place, an angel fluttered down to them. A wave of his hand, and suddenly the statues had been given flesh, and they step down from their pedestals.

The...

Ever wonder why angels are put on top of Christmas trees?

‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, to Santa’s dismay

Because the North Pole was in a bad way

The elves were on strike and not making toys

And the reindeer were out getting drunk with the boys

Santa sat in his sleigh and pondered his plight

When what came his way ...

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Destination Pittsburgh

Three priests were heading to Pittsburgh. The youngest priest, knowing he was most connected to the secular world, offered to get the tickets.

Upon arriving at the counter, the noticed the cashier was wearing a low low top and a short short skirt. His heart fluttered a moment...

“Yes ...

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