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Fetish Jokes

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() I have a fetish for intellectual breakthroughs

I struggled for a while, but then I came to a realization

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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

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I have to tell my girlfriend I am not into her fetishes.

But first, I gotta get some off my chest.

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I met up with this girl the other night that also has a ...

I met up with this girl the other night that also has a . When she got to my place, she asked if we could just to some foot together instead of having . It wasn't what I had in mind, but I agreed anyway. At the end of it, both of us felt pretty disgusted by the whole th...

I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish.

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

I once knew a girl with a fetish for synnesthesia.

Eventually, she came to her senses.

My girlfriend left me because I have a fetish for touching pasta.

I'm feeling cannelloni now. 😔

(Thanks for the silver! X 😊😊)

I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out.

I just came to that realization.

My friend confessed to me saying that he was starting to develop a fetish...

Not wanting to kink shame him I ask “How did you get into it?”

“Well I did some research on the internet and ended up going down a rabbit hole”

My girlfriend has a fetish for LEGO

If you build it, she will come

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A wife was cleaning their 12-year-old son’s bedroom. When she found a load of serious gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t spank him.”

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The wife said she's leaving because of my fetishes

I said fine! Don't forget to slam the door on my on the way out

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My girlfriend has a poop fetish

I always give her for it

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Over the past year, my fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse.

But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.

A pee fetish isn't something you do half-hearted.

Either urine or you're out.

I recently found out my mom has a disturbing fetish. She has slept with several underage teenagers and I am really concerned about their well being.

The victims contacted me while playing CoD.

What kind of candy do you offer a woman with a ?

Mentos

What’s the difference between necrophilia, and choke fetish’s?

Eh, about 15 seconds.

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My ex-girlfriend had this weird fetish

She liked to dress up like herself and act like a raging all the time

My overly curious neighbor has a peculiar fetish...

... he's always poking his nose into other peoples business.

I never thought I'd have a fetish for collecting data on people.

But then I came to my census

I think my girlfriend has a trigonometry fetish

because every time I talk to her she gets off on a tangent.

Why do people with foot fetishes never win?

Because they like the taste of defeat

Why won't Americans switch to the metric system?

They have a

I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph of an essay. How do I know?

I just came to that conclusion.

If a man with a cheats on his wife...

Does that mean he got off on the wrong foot?

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Why is the amount of people with a fetish for fruit always an even number?

Because they always in pears.

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Me and my friend have an amputee .

I know, it's gross, but we can only on prosthetic legs. Anyway, our last three-way with an amputee, we both prematurely came on her real toes! I had to politely ask the girl, "Can we start over? I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."

You know what they say about people with an architecture fetish…

Build it and they will come

I've got a fetish for geometry.

Sorry, I'm getting off on a tangent right now.

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How does someone with a poop fetish meet new people?

They slide into their BMs.

Did you hear about the guy with a bear fetish?

When he learned that New Mexico is one of the only states in the US where is legal, he traveled there and went out to the mountains looking for some action.

He spotted a beautiful bear and went about trying to seduce it, but it kept running away. Finally, the man's charm overcame ...

My furry friend told me his strange fetish of being vored by a squirrel.

Told him he's gotta be nuts

I have a ...

I have tried using meters but it just doesn't work for me.

I have a fetish for magnets

I don't know why, I just find them attractive.

What do you call an ape with a fetish?

Kink Kong.

My wife begged me not to tell anyone about her .

Well I’ve only gone and put my foot in it.

I used to have a weird fetish surrounding my abilities to see, touch, hear, smell and feel

I came to my senses

What do you call a guy with a plant fetish?

A Weed Whacker.

Which chemical element could be someones comic book fetish?

Manganese.

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People with clock fetishes are so punctual.

They always on time

Did you hear about the guy who decided to explore his sadness fetish?

A decision he would come to regret

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I'm embarrassed by my donkey fetish

Sometimes it makes me feel like an .

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There was a couple who explored but they finally decided they liked “oral” more than “.”

They were “head over heels” in love.

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Did you hear about the guy with a fruit fetish?

He's bananas.

I was once accused of having a …

…but that’s a lie. I much prefer the Metric system.

What was the jazz singer’s fetish?

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I've invented the ultimate toy, the Fetish-o-matic 3000!

Not quite ready for mass production though, still working out the kinks.

I met someone online who shares my fetish for urinating on dried fruit...

Next week we're going to go on a date

What's the difference between my -driven asphyxiation fetish and an artichoke?

Nothing. One's an art I choke to, and the other's an artichoke, too.

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Two men with a feather fetish

Two strangers, and Englishman and a Scotsman, are sitting at a bar chatting. They've both had a few drinks, so the conversation gets a bit more personal. It turns out they both have the same strange fetish—tickling a woman's with a feather. The Scotsman says, "Aye, ah luv it, but ah can never fi...

What do you call a klansman with a ?

Black toes intolerant

Did you hear about the lawyer who was prosecuted for having a loophole fetish?

He got off on a technicality.

I have been inventing a new fetish, however...

I still haven't worked out the **Kinks**!

You know what they call a in Paris?

They got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the hell a foot is.

Why did the guy with a want to lose?

He loves defeat.

Yesterday i found out that i got a

Because i like Mentos

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Therapist: Have you gotten over your fetish of being starched, pressed, and folded?

Me: We’re still ironing out the kinks

What's a Chickens favourite fetish?

BUK BUK BUKKAK-EE!!

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I finally finished that book about clock fetishes

It's about time.

My girlfriend has such a neck fetish,

she barely cares about me she just likes my neck. She's a necromancer.

My GF told me my isn't because I love her feet

It's because my first crush was my sock

What is 007's fetish?

...

What’s is a ruler’s favorite fetish

Foot

Should I do something about my fetish for infrastructure?

Or should I just cross that bridge when I come to it?

What is the difference between a man who lives in isolation and a man with a sidewalk fetish?

One is off the beaten path and the other is beating off the path

I used to be embarrassed by my geology fetish.

I started off stroking gravel but now I'm feeling a little boulder.

I couldn’t believe when my girlfriend said that she has an abduction fetish.

But she demands to be taken, seriously!

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The Romans had an unusual fetish for Jesus

One time, they even nailed him on a cross.

What do you call an Alabamian With a Gluten Fetish?

In Bread.

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My girlfriend left me because she has a .

My is only 11 inches.

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What do you call someone with a fetish for underwater projectiles?

A torpedophile!

Why did the fetish art meme get removed?

Because I didn’t credit one of the artists. I didn’t want to give them any foot traffic.

I have a dyslexia fetish

It makes my spine stiff

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I've tried watching Japanese fetish .

That's anything where the girl isn't wearing a school uniform

Did you hear about the guy with a who would intentionally lose?

He loved the smell of da feet!

I have a fetish for doing algebra

I’ve come to terms with that

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My friend confessed his fetish for putting his in coconut

He's nuts

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My wife has developed a fetish with salad items...

Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my .

And that was just the tip of the iceburg

I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.

I am going to call it Boba Fetish.

What do non-Americans call someone with a ?

A meter maniac..

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They finally released the film about men with a clock fetish

It's about time

I have a Blair Witch fetish....

I want my buddy to stand in the corner and not watch.

Happy Halloween!

I think my girlfriend has a blind fetish.

Last night she said we should stop seeing each other.

Her: I have kink-shaming fetish

Me: That's messed up

Her: (moans softly)

What do creeps eat at an Italian restaurant ?

Fetish-ini Alfredo

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I have a trash can fetish

My wet dreams are garbage

Fetish Acceptance

Now that's a movement I can get behind.

I knew a Guy who had a Fetish for Studio Audiences

He Came with a Laugh Tack.

"That's an odd fetish"

I said to myself, as I came to a fork in the road

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I asked my girlfriend to dress up as a Doctor during

To satisfy my fetish of being able to afford medicare.

I’m worried I’m developing a fetish for architecture

but I’ll cross that bridge when I come on it.

Subway stops are kind of my fetish.

It's just how I get off.

Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about.

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should be very ashamed, you nasty little pervert.

A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret fetish via his search history...

"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.

Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"

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What is Japanese ghosts' favorite fetish?

Bookakke

I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's . Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..

I got off on the wrong foot.

I hope Donald Trump has a .

He has to get used to the taste of defeet.

What's a British spy's secret fetish?

, James

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