Feel Sick Jokes

The docktor!

It must be the high Mercury content.

If they give you a tingly feeling, they're probably radioactive.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

"Is there a doctor in the building?!"

He strides to the back where he sees the manager and a patron who looks pale and shaky.

"We've just had two people come down with some kind of sickness," the manager says, "the lady here, and another gentleman in the bathroom."

"How do you ... read more

when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.

When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up. "Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door tha... read more

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

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She says to her doctor "ever since my husband had a accident and lost all of his toes on his left foot I feel sick when I am around him " , ahh said the doctor I know what the problem is you are lack toes intolerant .

... of well-meant but needless questions may be excused if they occasionally turn upon their persecutors. This is how an elevator boy dealt with one of them:

"Don't you ever feel sick going up and down this elevator all day?" a fussy lady asked him.

"Yes, ma'am", courteously replied t... read more

..chuckling to himself he picks it up and gives it a rub. Fwoosh, out pops this enormous genie.

"I am the Genie of the Lamp!" he booms, "I will grant you a single wish for releasing me!"

"Wow! I know exactly what I'd like to wish for," exclaims our hero. "I've always wanted to visit Di... read more

In fact, I feel sick every time I see her.

He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick". Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Paddy replies "No I only live round the corner".

A good man spends his life doing good deeds. One day he was flying back from Africa when his pane crashes near an uncharted island. He survives but is captured by cannibals.

The cannibals are prepping to cook him when he warns them.

"If you eat me, you guys are gonna feel sick and th... read more

It's all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick

Suddenly he saw a very fit-looking old man.
He went to the old man,and said-

Man-'Sir,you look very fit. What's the secret of your looking so fit and young?'

Old man-'I smoke 30 cigars a day.
I drink 4-5 bottles of vodka daily,and I am a serious drug-addict.
And I hate doin... read more

They come across a dead squirrel. Ed says, "ALRIGHT, dead squirrel, you want some Sam? Sam declines and Ed ravenously eats the whole squirrel.

A few minutes later they come across a dead pigeon. Ed says, "ALRIGHT, dead pigeon, you want some Sam? Sam declines and Ed again ravenously eats t... read more

It takes more than one beer for me to feel sick.

Just been to the gym. They’ve got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It’s great though. It does everything – Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, the lot..”

A cannibal wakes up in the night and says to his cannibal wife "I'm starving and we ate the last missionary two days ago." His wife responds "We won't be sent a new missionary for a few days, we've got 3 children, why not have one as a snack?" He thinks it's a great idea, so he eats his youngest chi... read more

A guy walks into a diner and sits down at the counter. A waitress comes up to him and asks "What'll ya have?"

He sees a sign on the wall for a hot bowl of chili for $5. He asks the waitress for a bowl of the chili.

"I'm sorry," she says, "but I just sold the last bowl to the gentlema... read more