UPJOKE

Fat Girl Jokes

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

My buddies always ask me how I can get fat girls to bed so quick.

I tell them t’s easy, just a piece of cake

Fat Girls

Last night I was having some wings and beer with a coworker after work. There were these two pretty, but kinda fat girls drinking at the bar and being loud. They had what I could have sworn was a Scottish accent.

I'm a big fan of girls from the UK, so I struck up a conversation. I asked them,...

Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?

Because she is thick and tired of it.

Stop making fun of fat girls with lisps

They're thick and tired of it.

I said to a fat girl today...

I said to a fat girl today,

"You're a big girl!"

She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."

I said, "Salad tastes nice"

Hey Doctor, any idea why I seem to be so attracted to fat girls?

That'd be gravity, my boy.

How do you get a fat girl into bed?

Piece of cake

My ex asked me if I had ever been with any fat girls

I told her she was my first.

Why aren't there any fat girls on the boxes of girl scout cookies?

Because good drug dealers don't use their own product.

What does a fat girl and a pallet of shingles have in common?

...they both have a 90% chance of being nailed by a Mexican.

What does a hoverboard and a fat girl have in common?

Reddit gets mad when you call them that

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ugly fat girl pinches me on the ass..

Me: "excuse me, why did you do that for?"

Fatty: "your pretty cute, can i have your number?"

Me: "yeahh sure, have you got a pen?"

Fatty: "yes i do"

Me: "well fuckin get back in it, the farmer will be wondering where you are!"

What do u call a fat girls stalker?

A whale watcher

What do sailor do with fat girls?

Give them a wide berth

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Jew marry the fat girl?

She was worth her weight in gold.

Guy walks up to a fat girl in the bar and asks: "Hey do you have a pen?"

She replies: "why yes I do"

Guy: "well you better get back there before the farmer gets mad!"

What do fat girls and bricks have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans.

What did Beyonce say to the fat girl?

"...You ate all my pringles lady, all my pringles lady."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a fat girls favourite part of sex?

The part where she swallows.

What’s the best way to pick up a fat girl?

A forklift

I fingered a fat girl last night

She said it was hurting and asked if I could take my ring off.
 
I agreed, but didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t wearing a ring, it was my watch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So i was banging this fat girl

I pulled my cock out of this fat girl's arse, then she turned over, spread her legs revealing her sweaty, hairy minge, and said, "Are you going to eat that?"

"Your pussy?" I asked, disgusted.

"No, that," she replied, pointing at the sweetcorn on my knob.

I was behind a fat girl in tight jeans at the supermarket checkout...

Her label said “Guess?”

I said, “ Oh I don’t know, 450 pounds?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This fat girl came on to me in a club..

“I’m out to get pissed and have a good time, I’ve left the kids and my other half at home, ” She said,

“Fuck me, ” I replied, “just how big are you?”

What do you call a fat girl in yoga pants at Walmart?

Cashier

What does a fat girl desire but already have?

A ten chin

I was chatting with a fat girl visiting from London. She said, "How would you Americans describe me?"

I tried to be nice so I said, "Perhaps just as a broad broad abroad."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anal invitation

"Let's go to your place." Said a fat girl.

"I would love to, but i don't have any lubricant"

"I don't think it's necessary, i'm not that tight" says the girl while smiling.

"Maybe you're not, but my door is."

Fat girl goes to the doctors and asks advice on how to lose weight Doctor says just shake your head, Girl says how often do I do this?? Doctor replied:

Every time someone offers you food..

Irish man in Dublin

An Irish man, enjoying a pint of Guiness in a pub in Dublin when he approaches a couple of very fat girls with british accent:

- Hi ladies! Are you from England?
- No! Wales!
- Hi whales! Are you from England?

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