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Evidently Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There were three hellions in a class

They were so bad that teachers kept quitting. The principle got so frustrated she hire a retired female marine Sargent to teach the class and gave her authority to go whatever it took to control the three kids. The first day of the school year she walks into the class room and asks the three to step...

Evidently, I snore loudly

It scares everyone in the car I'm driving

Evidently, I have “boundary issues”

according to my neighbors journal.

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm... that was some good lion meat!".

The lion abruptly stops and says "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he l...

A strict submarine captain is reassigned to a new submarine...

... after a few days of laying down new rules, enforcing them strictly, and allowing the crewmen nary a minute off, he saw derogatory posters about him taped around the craft.

Calling for his first officer, he said:
"First Officer, I demand that the submarine be scoured, and every one of t...

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

My wife complained she wished someone other than her would do some dusting.

Crop dusting evidently is not what she had in mind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started my girlfriend up like a chainsaw last night.

But, now she's mad at me because, evidently, you're supposed to remove anal beads SLOWLY!

What does a librarian take fishing?

A good hook!


(Evidently the correct answer is book worm but I liked my answer better!)

How does an uncreative redditor get karma... Piece of Cake

Or a repost, evidently

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