An elderly married couple are at the doctor's, and he has some bad news.
"Mrs Smith," he says, "I'm afraid you have developed quite a serious heart murmur. In view of your age and frailty, I cannot recommend surgery. You still have several years left to you if you are careful to avoid excitement, and in particular, I have to emphasise that, if you have continued to be se...
I saw a girl busking today.
She had a great voice and an even better pair of legs, emphasised by the short skirt she was wearing. "Any requests?" She asked the watching crowd. "Your thong," I replied with a wink. Everyone gasped in horror, and the girl slapped me. It's tough being an Elton John fan with a lisp.