Ea Jokes - 91 Hilarious Ea Jokes

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

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What's the difference between EA and my uncle?

My uncle didn't take my money when he fucked me.

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What's the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn't fuck up as many launches as EA

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What do Hitler and EA have in common?

*You are missing the Punchline Pack. Please purchase the Reddit Season Pass to reveal missing content*

If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets....

I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.

a guy got an Interview for a job with EA

Boss: the second part of your resume is missing

Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$

Boss: welcome on board

This is an EA joke

Oops, I rushed it and left out the good part.

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Hitler, Salin, and EA were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

EA says "NONSENSE! I've ruined dozens of game franchises. I am the most hated!"

Hitler said "Why don't we hold a vote in hell and see who is the mo...

EA's microtransaction policy is so bad that...

[This punchline is locked. Please pay 20,000 credits to unlock]

EA walks in a bar

*Unlock this punchline for $9.99*

*for $14.99 more you can also unlock correct grammar*

What did the EA say to ubisoft?

You must purchase the r/jokes season pass to see this

What Does EA Call A Patch?

Next year’s game.

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?

Because Ubisoft is in France

Why are people complaining,what EA did was great!

I mean, you've got to give them credit.

The director of EA walks into a bar

*Download the punchline for only 4.99*

What do you call Andrew Tate in a Romanian prison?

In-cell

EDIT: I don't have time to reply to all the great comments here but THANK YOU ALL for the lols! Seriously, laughed out loud at a bunch of these, I'm rolling!

EDIT EDIT: Thanks as well to the kind Redditor who referred me to the suicide helpline over this. I'm fine, but clearly ...

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Square Enix, Ubisoft, EA and Valve are all in class.

They're all taking a quiz. The teacher tells them that'll have 60 minutes to complete the quiz and that they'll be graded immediately. An hour later, the teacher collects their test sheets and begins grading.

Square Enix answered every question correctly, even the extra credit essay question...

Why did EA cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

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All we need now is for someone to come forward and say EA has been sexually harassing them

Actually, that applies to all of us. They've been fucking us for years.

An EA developer dies and gets do decide if wheather he wants to go to heaven or to hell.

First, he checks out heaven and sees that it's pretty standard stuff, angels, clouds, peace, but nothing really interesting.

Then he checks out hell. Really cool parties going on all over the place, infinite amount of drinks and drugs, beautiful women everywhere.

Obviously, he chooses ...

Did you hear that new joke about EA?

[Please Buy the Punchline DLC to unlock this bonus Content]

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What's the difference between EA and a priest?

One fucks you for free

Have you heard about the PR disaster at EA over Battlefront 2?

*60,000 credits*

Here's another EA joke...

But you have to pay to unlock it.

I went to a job interview at EA

The interviewer, after reading my CV, said:

"I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"

"Page two is 19.99$"

The "EA" in TEA is silent.

Because you need to pay to unlock it.

EA says that it was not hacked....

For the rest of the joke you need to pay $4.99

So a guy buys a PlayStation and starts an EA game.

Pay just $9.99 to unlock the rest of this joke!

The best joke about EA is

gonna cost you $50 to unlock.

What do you call a console collaboration by Sony and EA?

A Paystation

How do you call it when two short people do 69?

EA

It's in the title

Why did the EA executive cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out! Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!

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My girlfriend said if I turned off the light, I could stick it in her ass.

After I tried, she freaked out and told me never again.

I guess the bulb was hot.

How many EA employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Unlock the punchline now for just 7.99!]

If EA had a restaurant...

would it have servers?

Guys, EA isn’t pay to win.

It’s pay to play

EA doesn't mean 'Early Access'

It means 'Easy Access'

To your wallet.

A relationship is alot like ea games

It starts off great until the microtransactions come in

The American school system is a lot like an EA game...

It's mostly broken and if you pay more money you can access things that make you have an advantage over everyone else.

What does Eustace say when he loses in an EA game?

*"That's it, I am getting me wallet."*

What do you call a left wing hater of EA Sports?

Anti-FIFA

Why did EA cross the road?

The punchline for this joke is 0.99$

EA is releasing a new Mario game!

it’s called Pay-Per-Mario.

I think EA should be in charge of handling the corona outbreak..

They already erased one Pandemic successfully.

If EA owned Starbucks...

They'd give you the coffee and tell you to build your own cup.

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Why does the head of EA like micro transactions so much?

It describes two distinct parts of his sex life

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An old farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine.

It so happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. He decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and voila, everything else was automatic!
He really had a good time as the equipment provided him with much pleasure. When the f...

“EA Sports. It’s in the Game!”

Also EA: there is no game in this “game”, but thanks for the purchase.

What does EA truly stand for?

Early Access because all of their games are rushed and unfinished.

I asked my friend what he thought of EA’s micro transaction policy,

he said he didn’t buy it.

EA Games and Ubisoft walk into a bar...

Act now and for just $49.99 you too can experience the intensity and originality of this punchline!

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What's the difference between my uncle and EA?

When I get dicked deep by EA my parents believe me....

What’s EA’s favourite E-sport?

Lootboxing.

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The EA leak showed that the FIFA source code is like sex with your SO

Different wrapper, same package

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How do you say "no" in Japanese?

EA.

EA is Officially Getting Rid of Micro-Transactions!!

And replacing them with macro-transactions.

EA is now offering deferred-payment microtransactions...

Calling them E.A.I.O.U.s

Why did EA Games cross the road?

Please purchase a loot crate for a chance at credits to purchase the punchline

Someone started a joke “So this guy was playing an EA game”

I interrupt “Good joke”

So sad that EA won't have a conference at E3 this year.

Now who am I going to laugh at?

EA just acquired a new video game license...

Fallout

What's the difference between EA and AE?

One costs a lot of money if you want all the benefits, rewards, and perks, the other is a credit card company.

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I told a prostitute to give me the full EA package

And then she started sucking.

EA finally to publish a good product

Working title «Annual Sales Report», coming December 31.

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What's the difference between EA and a prostitute?

With a prostitute, at least you know you're going to get screwed before you hand over your money.

What's the difference between EA and USA?

EA is trying to sell DLCs, USA is trying to steal DLCs.

What's the difference between Harvey Weinstein and EA?

EA only sticks their hands in your pants if you have money in your pockets.

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If EA was a female prostitute, she would charge you $80 to come over

Then show up wearing 50 dresses and charge you for each one that you take off

Here's my review of EA

Sorry EA but if you want the review it'll be $5.99 for each letter and $7.99 for each punctuation and comma

I'm sick of these people milking the EA conflict for karma!

I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.

What’s EA’s greatest contribution to society?

Inspiring OC on r/jokes

A man applies for a position at EA

When he gets to the office he meets with the interviewer.

To finish the rest of this joke please purchase the "Joke pack" for $5

Dark Matter is like the EA DLC of the Universe

95% of the content hidden away from the main game without first lots of grinding and getting a sense of pride and accomplishment to unlock it

cc r/outside

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What's the difference between Hitler and playing EA games?

Hitler had a sense of accomplishment during his life.

What do you call a Battlefront without EA?

Bttlfront

I'm sick and tired of EA's microtransaction on Battlefront 2.

An old habit never DICE, I guess.

If I had a dollar for every EA post I’ve seen in the past three days...

I’d have enough to unlock Vader

If life was a video game it would be created by EA

Because you have to pay real money inside the game.

I'm not worried about a future where my kids are addicted to EA's micro transactions

Because there's no way I'll be paying for Verizon's internet gaming add on

If you're a criminal and you go camping with EA, don't forget to bring something to sleep in...

... or they'll make you pay for the extra con tent

If I had a dollar for every downvote EA gets over their SWBFII response....

I'd probably have Darth Vader as a playable character....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.

After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from F...

Before EA announced their plans for SW:Battlefront 2, I was pretty sure they were just a greedy company. That now has changed.

Now I am definitely sure they are just a greedy company.

So I hear EA has removed all refund options from their website, and now customers have to call them directly. But hey:

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

"Someone call fer me?"

I look down at my homework, and back up at the pirate and say, "uhhh, I was just trying to figure out how to do this problem, nothing a pirate could help with."

The pirate walks menacingly toward me, and I con...

What is the fastest way to become a millionaire?

Step 1: become a billionaire.

Step 2: buy an EA game.

John Madden has passed away, but I hardly feel upset.

EA will just clone Madden next year.

You really ought to hear this joke about Net Neutrality now.

Or you'll pay for it later.

A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, servin‌‌g i‌‌n Worl‌‌d Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat.

Th‌‌e on...

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

He says, "The female dormitory would be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory would be prohibited for the female students."

Continuing further, he says, "Anyone caught breaking this rule would be fined $50 the first time."
"Anyone caught breaking this rule the second tim...

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