This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between EA and my uncle?

My uncle didn't take my money when he fucked me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn't fuck up as many launches as EA

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?

Because Ubisoft is in France

What do you call a console collaboration by Sony and EA?

A Paystation

If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets....

I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.

EA have been hit by ransomware and need to pay up to $7,000,000

Hackers claim they want EA to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when they finally unlock their information

EA says that it was not hacked....

For the rest of the joke you need to pay $4.99

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The EA leak showed that the FIFA source code is like sex with your SO

Different wrapper, same package

The American school system is a lot like an EA game...

It's mostly broken and if you pay more money you can access things that make you have an advantage over everyone else.

What does Eustace say when he loses in an EA game?

*"That's it, I am getting me wallet."*

Did you hear that new joke about EA?

[Please Buy the Punchline DLC to unlock this bonus Content]

The best joke about EA is

gonna cost you $50 to unlock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler, Salin, and EA were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

EA says "NONSENSE! I've ruined dozens of game franchises. I am the most hated!"

Hitler said "Why don't we hold a vote in hell and see who is the mo...

Di‌‌d yo‌‌u kno‌‌w i‌‌f yo‌‌u hol‌‌d you‌‌r ea‌‌r u‌‌p to‌‌o ‌‌a stranger‌‌s leg

... yo‌‌u ca‌‌n actuall‌‌y hea‌‌r the‌‌m sa‌‌y "wha‌‌t th‌‌e fuc‌‌k ar‌‌e yo‌‌u doing?"

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

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What do Hitler and EA have in common?

*You are missing the Punchline Pack. Please purchase the Reddit Season Pass to reveal missing content*

a guy got an Interview for a job with EA

Boss: the second part of your resume is missing

Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$

Boss: welcome on board

What do you call a left wing hater of EA Sports?

Anti-FIFA

Guys, EA isn’t pay to win.

It’s pay to play

Why are people complaining,what EA did was great!

I mean, you've got to give them credit.

Why kind of plates did they use in the food court at the EA conference?

Pay-per plates

The director of EA walks into a bar

*Download the punchline for only 4.99*

EA walks in a bar

*Unlock this punchline for $9.99*

*for $14.99 more you can also unlock correct grammar*

EA's microtransaction policy is so bad that...

[This punchline is locked. Please pay 20,000 credits to unlock]

So a guy buys a PlayStation and starts an EA game.

Pay just $9.99 to unlock the rest of this joke!

An EA developer dies and gets do decide if wheather he wants to go to heaven or to hell.

First, he checks out heaven and sees that it's pretty standard stuff, angels, clouds, peace, but nothing really interesting.

Then he checks out hell. Really cool parties going on all over the place, infinite amount of drinks and drugs, beautiful women everywhere.

Obviously, he chooses ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Square Enix, Ubisoft, EA and Valve are all in class.

They're all taking a quiz. The teacher tells them that'll have 60 minutes to complete the quiz and that they'll be graded immediately. An hour later, the teacher collects their test sheets and begins grading.

Square Enix answered every question correctly, even the extra credit essay question...

I wish my college was run by EA

At least I’d get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money

Why did EA cross the road

Pay 50$ to find out.

Did you hear about EA taking over Nintendo?

Their new game is gonna be called ‘Pay-per Mario’

What did the EA say to ubisoft?

You must purchase the r/jokes season pass to see this

That one song about closing the goddamn door.

HaVe YoU eVeR hEaRd Of It?

A relationship is alot like ea games

It starts off great until the microtransactions come in

What Does EA Call A Patch?

Next year’s game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between EA and a priest?

One fucks you for free

This is an EA joke

Oops, I rushed it and left out the good part.

I asked my friend what he thought of EA’s micro transaction policy,

he said he didn’t buy it.

How many EA employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Unlock the punchline now for just 7.99!]

Have you heard about the PR disaster at EA over Battlefront 2?

*60,000 credits*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All we need now is for someone to come forward and say EA has been sexually harassing them

Actually, that applies to all of us. They've been fucking us for years.

A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, servin‌‌g i‌‌n Worl‌‌d Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat.

Th‌‌e on...

I think EA should be in charge of handling the corona outbreak..

They already erased one Pandemic successfully.

If EA had a restaurant...

would it have servers?

EA doesn't mean 'Early Access'

It means 'Easy Access'



To your wallet.

So sad that EA won't have a conference at E3 this year.

Now who am I going to laugh at?

I went to a job interview at EA

The interviewer, after reading my CV, said:

"I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"

"Page two is 19.99$"

Littl‌‌e J‌‌ohnn‌‌y w‌‌a‌‌s t‌‌ol‌‌d b‌‌‌‌y h‌‌i‌‌s f‌‌riend‌‌s t‌‌ha‌‌t a‌‌dult‌‌s h‌‌av‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ee‌‌p d‌‌ar‌‌k s‌‌ecre‌‌t a‌‌n‌‌d c‌‌a‌‌n b‌‌‌‌e e‌‌asil‌‌y m‌‌anipulated.

Johnn‌‌y d‌‌ecide‌‌s t‌‌‌‌o t‌‌es‌‌t i‌‌t‌‌. H‌‌‌‌e c‌‌ome‌‌s h‌‌ome‌‌, g‌‌oe‌‌s u‌‌‌‌p t‌‌‌‌o h‌‌i‌‌s m‌‌othe‌‌r a‌‌n‌‌d s‌‌ays‌‌, "‌‌Mom‌‌, I‌‌‌‌ k‌‌no‌‌w e‌‌verything.‌‌" M‌‌o‌‌m s‌‌hushe‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m a‌‌n‌‌d g‌‌ive‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m $‌‌10.

"Jus‌‌t d‌‌on'‌‌t t‌‌el‌‌l D‌‌ad‌‌" s‌‌h‌‌e s‌‌ays.
...

Someone started a joke “So this guy was playing an EA game”

I interrupt “Good joke”

“EA Sports. It’s in the Game!”

Also EA: there is no game in this “game”, but thanks for the purchase.

Brittan decided that they will started driving on the right side of the road just like the rest of the world.

To eas people into this transition they will start with busses and trucks this week and normal cars next month.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If EA was a female prostitute, she would charge you $80 to come over

Then show up wearing 50 dresses and charge you for each one that you take off

Why did EA cross the road?

The punchline for this joke is 0.99$

What does EA truly stand for?

Early Access because all of their games are rushed and unfinished.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does the head of EA like micro transactions so much?

It describes two distinct parts of his sex life

How do you call it when two short people do 69?

ea

If I had a dollar for every EA post I’ve seen in the past three days...

I’d have enough to unlock Vader

What’s EA’s favourite E-sport?

Lootboxing.

I'm sick of these people milking the EA conflict for karma!

I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told a prostitute to give me the full EA package

And then she started sucking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between my uncle and EA?

When I get dicked deep by EA my parents believe me....

Before EA announced their plans for SW:Battlefront 2, I was pretty sure they were just a greedy company. That now has changed.

Now I am definitely sure they are just a greedy company.

If you're a criminal and you go camping with EA, don't forget to bring something to sleep in...

... or they'll make you pay for the extra con tent

EA is Officially Getting Rid of Micro-Transactions!!

And replacing them with macro-transactions.

EA Games and Ubisoft walk into a bar...

Act now and for just $49.99 you too can experience the intensity and originality of this punchline!

The EA community team has now provided a feeling of pride and accomplishment to about 520,000 gamers...

By allowing us to Downvote them into Reddit hall of shame

EA sucks.

But doesn't swallow.
They charge extra for that.

I'm not worried about a future where my kids are addicted to EA's micro transactions

Because there's no way I'll be paying for Verizon's internet gaming add on

If EA owned Starbucks...

They'd give you the coffee and tell you to build your own cup.

My dad loves Battlefront 2 and praises EA whenever he plays it.

Should I tell him they made another battlefront 2 recently?

Dark Matter is like the EA DLC of the Universe

95% of the content hidden away from the main game without first lots of grinding and getting a sense of pride and accomplishment to unlock it

cc r/outside

EA just acquired a new video game license...

Fallout

So I hear EA has removed all refund options from their website, and now customers have to call them directly. But hey:

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."

What's the difference between Harvey Weinstein and EA?

EA only sticks their hands in your pants if you have money in your pockets.

Why did EA Games cross the road?

Please purchase a loot crate for a chance at credits to purchase the punchline

What’s EA’s greatest contribution to society?

Inspiring OC on r/jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.

After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from F...

I'm sick and tired of EA's microtransaction on Battlefront 2.

An old habit never DICE, I guess.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between EA and a prostitute?

With a prostitute, at least you know you're going to get screwed before you hand over your money.

Why won't EA let the team that worked on Battlefield: Bad Company 2 develop the next battlefield?

Because EA is a Bad Company.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Hitler and playing EA games?

Hitler had a sense of accomplishment during his life.

What two things do people tend to think of when EA is mentioned?

Battlefield: Bad Company.

If I had a dollar for every downvote EA gets over their SWBFII response....

I'd probably have Darth Vader as a playable character....

If life was a video game it would be created by EA

Because you have to pay real money inside the game.

What's the difference between EA and AE?

One costs a lot of money if you want all the benefits, rewards, and perks, the other is a credit card company.

What's the difference between EA and USA?

EA is trying to sell DLCs, USA is trying to steal DLCs.

What do you call buying dishrags from EA?

Microfiber transactions

An interview for a position at EA games.

Man: "Let's cut to the chase, I guarantee you that I can get you to hire me before we even start the interview."

Interviewer: "That's a bold statement, how can you be so sure about that?"

Man: "Pay $9.99 to continue the interviewing process!"

Interviewer: "You're hired..."

What do you call a Battlefront without EA?

Bttlfront

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

"Someone call fer me?"

I look down at my homework, and back up at the pirate and say, "uhhh, I was just trying to figure out how to do this problem, nothing a pirate could help with."

The pirate walks menacingly toward me, and I con...

Here's my review of EA

Sorry EA but if you want the review it'll be $5.99 for each letter and $7.99 for each punctuation and comma

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