UPJOKE
diminishdwindle awaydwindle downdecreaselessenwaneshrinkwitheroutstripshrivelevaporateskyrocketplummetdiminishingfatten

Dwindling Jokes

The number of Firefox users in Bikini Bottom is dwindling...

In the future everything will be Chrome.

So John Travolta's career has been dwindling recently...

I guess you could say he fell from Grease.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A strip club owner is lamenting about his dwindling business to his wife.

A strip club owner is eating breakfast with his wife. He begins to cry. "Honey, things are changing. Men just ain't spending money at titty bars like they used to."

"Oh that can't be." She responds. "There are some things men will always go to a strip club for."

"But honey, I've tried ...

The Last Fight

The battle was long, perilous, and gruesome. The twins made it through nearly three quarters of the enemy battalion before reaching the final lines of the fray. They saw the end stretching over the thin horizon.

With their dwindling energy, they let out another strained cry for battle, and l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hard Brexit

Fears over dwindling viagra stockpiles in the U.K in the result of a hard Brexit. The government have labelled it "a growing problem".

Did you ever hear of Juan the Magnificent?

Juan was just a young man growing up in rural Mexico. He felt he had little chance to grow up and do anything of importance or recognition. He'd grow up and work the land. The same as his father and his grandfather before him.


Until the day he saw the great magician Harry Houdini.

...

A man runs a business to hurt people

The business is a simple one, you pay the man $5 and he hurts you in any way you want. If you want him to slap you he'll do it, if you want him to shoot you in the foot, he will do it. Now his business started to pick up speed and then after a month of his business being successful he starts to noti...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watso...

In the year 1897 a young man named Jonathan Quimby set out for adventure from the frontier city of Seattle. He'd risked his entire life savings to make the trek to the Yukon to prospect.

He started his journey full of excitement and hope. he'd purchased his nearly 2,000lbs of gear and supplies and two fine stock horses to help him carry it.

The voyage to Skagway was difficult. The seas were rough and Jonathan spent many hours at the rail, emptying his stomach into the frigid,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...

White Elephant

An old farmer is tending his crop one day when he spies a white elephant trampling the edge of his field. He knows that there are four different types of elephants in his area: red elephants, blue elephants, purple elephants, and white elephants.

To kill a blue elephant you use a blue elep...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.