Drink And Drive Jokes

Sign on a billboard with photo of police car.

"You provide the drinks we'll provide the chasers."

So I was taking a sip of my whiskey, someone straight up snatched my bottle at a red light.

You might spill some

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy
bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws.
At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the
curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his.
T... read more

John Baker was 17 and hot headed. An underage drinkers and a hardcore partier, his parents were always furious with him for this. They tried keeping him from going out, but nothing seemed to work. The last straw was when John got caught driving drunk. The car was a wreck, and John was in even worse ... read more

I do my drinking before driving

You won’t have enough hands free to answer your phone if someone calls you

it's when I'm playing Mario Kart.

If you get pulled over for a DUI, put the flask in your lap, suspiciously​ insist that it's "water," and that's when the officer finds out that's it's chloroform.

If you want to drive safely we can help.

Please call us. We have senior experienced people of all ages


Our volunteers will come and drink for you so you can drive safely

I died laughing. Don't drink and drive.

Don't drink and drive!

So knowing that people drink and drive from this bar a cop waits across the street to catch people. So 15 minutes before last call a guy walks out from the bar stumbling and falling over on his way to his car. The cop sees this and also sees him take about 2 minutes just to get his key in the igniti... read more