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Dress Up Jokes

I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight...

to fulfill my fantasy that we have health care

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as a Doctor during sex

To satisfy my fetish of being able to afford medicare.

Wife and I decided to do a little fantasy role play. I had her dress up as a nurse.....

I wanted to see what it felt like to have health Care coverage.

What did Tony Soprano dress up as for Halloween?

A gabba-ghoul.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun.

Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dr...

I'm going to dress up as a Subaru head gasket for Halloween.

There's a really good chance I'll get blown.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex girlfriend had a role playing fetish. She liked to dress up as herself, and act like

a fucking bitch

Two nuns are walking down the street when they notice that a man is following them.

Sister Michael, the older and wiser nun, says to the young and naïve Sister Patrick, "See that crossroad ahead? You go left and I'll go right: he can't follow us both. We'll meet back at the Abbey."

So the sisters part and the man follows Sister Michael.

Some time later, Sister Patrick...

A man goes to a dress up party with a woman tied to his back.

Someones asks him "why the hell is there a woman tied to your back?

The man replies "I'm suppose to be a turtle... this is Michelle".

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween?

"You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Jamaicans go to a dress up party

The theme is 'emotions' with a strict entry policy. No costume, no entry.

The first guy knocks on the door dressed as a giant pear. The host says "this is an emotions party, what are you supposed to be?"

He replies "I'm in dis pear" and walks in.

The 2nd guy doesnt have a costu...

For Halloween I was going to dress up as the rising Covid cases

But that doesn’t seem to scare anyone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Rednecks are eating in a fancy restaurant....

Suddenly, the woman sitting at the next table starts choking and gasping for air. Everyone else around just sits there watching, but one of the Rednecks JUMPS up, grabs the woman and yanks her out of the chair. He then pulls her dress up over her head, yanks her panties down and runs his tongue up t...

I like to get naughty, dress up like a triangle, and sunbathe

I call it Sin Tan Cosplay

I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore.

And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

My wife wanted to dress up as sausages for Halloween

I first tried to talk her out of it by lying, but I had to be frank further down the conversation.

I used to dress up as a nun when I was younger, but gave it up.

It was a hard habit to break.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend likes it when I dress up as scary clown when we have sex

I think she has a Stephen Kink.

It's Career day tommorow and your allowed to dress up as anyone you looked up towards.

Kyle wanted to dress up as his dad.

He said he'll go to the store for a bit and buy what he needs.

The next day he never came back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Jamaican guys were invited to a fancy dress party where people had to dress up as an emotion.

The first one turns up in a dress.

Confused, the host asks, "what are you supposed to be?"

"I"m in distress, mon," he replied.

The second Jamaican guy turns up stark naked but with a teddy bear on his knob.

Even more confused, the host asks, "what are you supposed to ...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing what to dress up as for the 80's Action Hero Costume Ball.

"I know", says Stallone, "Lets all go as famous composers. "I'll be Beethoven".

"I'll go as Mozart", says Chuck.

Schwarzenegger gets up and walks swiftly to the door. At the last second, he looks back and says,

"I'll be Bach"

I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat as much spinach as fast as possible.

I'm going to call it Popeyedol.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wants me to dress up as an Eskimo while having sex.

Some might think it's a little weird, but I'm innuit

My two friends persuaded me to dress up as prepeller blades with them

At first I wasnt sure but now I'm a huge fan.

I’m gonna dress up as Jeffrey Epstein for Halloween and crash some parties

I just really don’t wanna hang by myself

My wife and I have been role playing to spice things up lately. I dress up as the UPS guy...

and she walks away from me when she sees me, refusing to touch my package for at least a week.

If you dress up a pug like gru from despicable me

You get a group hug.

If you dress up as a banana and eat a banana

Is that canabananalism?

I'm gonna dress up as Forest Gump tonight and go to the movies and make a a scene.

Then I will have to apologize for ruining their Black Panther party

What did the spoon dress up as to the Halloween party?

A cereal killer.

I would dress up as a Procrastinator for Halloween.

Never mind, I’ll do it later

What’s do bees dress up as on Halloween?

Boo-Bees

I was forced to dress up in a half man, half horse costume.

I hate being the centaur of attention.

What did the jalapeno dress up as for Halloween?

A Ghost Pepper.

I like to dress up in the clothes of unwashed nuns.

I guess I've got a dirty habit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Halloween is a day to dress up as something you're not

That's why most girls go as something sexy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I told my girlfriend to dress up as the "Like Button" for Halloween...

So I could SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wanted to dress up as Zelda before sex

I wasn't into it, but that's ok - I don't Link Shame

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