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Disoriented Jokes

(NSFW) A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest.

"No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".

What do you call a disoriented lycanthrope?

A where wolf

Sisters

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 mi.’

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon, he sees another sign tha...

An American tourist is hit by a car in downtown Sydney, AU.

He is in a coma for 24 hours. When he wakes up in the hospital, he is very disoriented.

"Did I come here to die?" he asks.

The nurse replies, "No, love, you came here yestadie!"

A man wakes up one morning to find that he's grown a thick beard and is wearing a turban....

He, being very concerned and disoriented, calls his boss in order to see if he can get the day off.

Man: "Boss, I just woke up with a turban and a long, thick beard. I think I need a day to figure things out."

Boss: " So what are you saying....?"

Man: "I'm calling in Sikh."

Do It Yourself COVID Test

1. Pour a glass of wine and smell it
2. If you can smell it, then taste it
3. If you can both smell it and taste it, you do not have the Covid virus



Just to test it out, I did the test 19 times last evening and, thank God, all the tests were negative. But I'll have to repeat the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm

An Australian walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.

He tells the bartender, “If I put my penis into this crocodile’s mouth for 15 seconds without it being bitten off, you’ll give me free drinks for the night.”

The bartender agrees, so the guy opens the crocodile’s mouth and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother was dating a Japanese woman for a while but was dumped today.

You could say that he was disoriented

An American man is visiting Sydney Australia. Going around seeing all the sites.

Suddenly he is struck by a car, injuring him, and putting him into a coma for 24 hours. He wakes up in the hospital, dazed and disoriented, he just sees the all white room. He hears a voice, and asks the nurse, "Did I come here to die?"
She turns and flatly responds, "Nah mate, you came here yes...

What happens to Asians when they become American citizens?

They get very disoriented.

If you spin an Asian person around, what do they become?

Disoriented.

If you spun an Oriental guy around and round...

Would he become _disoriented?_

I just got back from Asia...

And now I’m disoriented.

Did you hear about the Chinese guy who moved to America and turned white?

He was really disoriented.

Bob and Jim go hunting.

After spending several hours wandering through the woods, they become thoroughly lost in the wilderness. Disoriented, they sit down to discuss what to do next.

"Hey, I have and idea," says Bob. "If we each fire three shots into the air, someone will hear them and come to help us." So each ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They kicked me out of Japan

I was disoriented.

Why did the man from China get lost when he came to America?

He was disoriented.

What happens if you spin an oriental person around really fast for an extended period of time?

They become disoriented.

How does an Asian feel after they have been insulted?

Disoriented -.-

Asians aren't bad drivers.

They're just disoriented.

What do you call a guy from China who is confused?

Disoriented.

A boy wants to ring a giant bell...

As a boy is walking down the street, he spots a bell tower. Seeing the bell, he makes his way to the very top of the tower. When he gets to the top, he finds a priest, just standing there.

The boy asked the priest "Is it okay if I ring the bell, Father?"

The priest replied "By all mea...

If you spin an Chinese man around a hundred times...

does he get disoriented?

Whole Arm

So I’m fingering this fat girl and she's so sloppy, I start using two fingers. She says she barely feels it and says to stick my whole hand in. I told her no, that I didnt want to hurt her, but she insisted so I did. She moaned and demanded more! Amazed, l slid my whole arm up inside her and she moa...

A man was offroading in the desert.

He was driving over the dunes and past the shrubs and bushes that dotted the landscape, when a sandstorm started blowing over. He figured he'd be fine, but the sand made his engine lock up.

After it had passed, he went out in search for help. The storm disoriented him and blew away his car tr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man sitting at a bar orders a bottle of whiskey

He then starts taking long sips from the bottle until it's empty. An hour later he decides he's too drunk and he needs to go back home to his wife. He makes an attempt to stand up but fails miserably, throwing himself on the floor.

The bartender helps him back on his chair and tells him to wa...

A boy breaks his arm and his dad takes him to the hospital.

The son gets a cast and heals up just fine after several weeks. He goes up to his father after he gets his cast off and says, "Dad, I'm healed!"

"Hi Healed, I'm Dad."

The son laughs and thinks his dad is the funniest ever.

A year later, the boy falls on his face and chips a toot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two hunters went hunting for deer...

Bob and Jim went hunting for deer one day.

As polite hunters always do, they stopped by the farmhouse to ask the farmer for permission to hunt. The farmer agreed to let the two hunt, but warned them that he had a very large farm and it would be easy to become disoriented and lost.

The ...

Sisters of Mercy

A guy is driving down the highway late at night, when he sees a sign that said, "Sisters of mercy: House of prostitution" 3 miles. Thinking he must be tired and seeing things, he gives it no more thought.

Further down the road he sees another sign that said, "Sisters of Mercy: House of Prost...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] So a man walks into a pub. There is a jar of money on the bar...

He asks the bartender "what's with the jar of money?" The bartender tells him there is a few tasks, and if he can complete them, he can have all the money in it. Without hesitation, the man asks what those tasks are.

The bartender says "First, you must drink this entire bottle of vodka straig...

One of my old theater director’s favorites

In an old, medieval village, there was a church, with a high bell tower. The bell hadn’t been rung in many a long year.

One day, a man with no arms finds the priest of the church and says, “Father, I’d like to be your official bell ringer.”

Confused, the priest responds “But how can y...

A man is tanning at a nudist beach...

And a young girl who was playing with the seagulls ran up to him. Pointing to his nether regions she asked what that was and why lots of the people have them. The man not wanting to explain the reproductive system to some little girl said that it is his pet bird, pointing to his genitalia he said th...

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