Cyclops

Is the sound a depressed horse makes when it runs

Why did the cyclops stop teaching?

He only had one pupil.

They should change the spelling of "Cyclops" to "Ciclops"

Then it would only have 1 'i'

Two guys go into a hat shop run by a cyclops.

One of them says "That's the one I'd get". So the cyclops hit him.

Cyclops is searching for vacation places.

Cyclops: how do you spell Hawaii?

Wife: well, you need 2 i's

Cyclops: my life is just a joke to you isn't it Linda?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife,"How do you spell Hawaii?" Karen replied, "You need two i’s." Cyclops growled...

"My life is just a big fucking joke to you, isn’t it Karen?"

What did Polyphemus the cyclops say when his wife asked him how she looked?

"Sorry, no idea."

What did Odysseus say to the depressed Cyclops?

Nobody cares.

I made this joke up randomly at the store...

Did you hear Cyclops of the x-men got vaccinated?

He got his pfizer.

My wife is a cyclops

She’s the one eye adore

What did the cyclops sailor say to his captain?

Eye captain

Polyphemus the cyclops learns his assaulter's name and yells to Poseidon to strike him down Poseidon asks why?

Polyphemus:
"He's O-dissing-us"

Which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner?

It doesn’t matter because Nobody will judge them anyway!

There was once a cyclops living in a cave on an island ...

The cyclops loved himself a good meal of human meat. He ate many a people.

Once, a young man came to the island to kill the cyclops. The cyclops had, to say the least, a lot of trouble killing the young fellow.

At one point the cyclops asked, in his rage: Who are you?

The man re...

Did you know that a cyclops’ favorite winter activity is sking?

It’s like skiing, but with one “eye”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is your perspective on cyclops?

If things don’t work out with the wife, I think I’ll look for a nice, one-eyed girl.


I think I’d be more sexually compatible with someone who has little to no depth perception.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cyclops came in the cave all angry and hot

Cyclops: I know you are cheating on me! Who are you fucking!

Wife: Nobody!!

Why did the navy refuse to have a cyclops for a general?

They wouldn't be able to say " eye-eye sir"

Read a book about a lonely cyclops.

It's called, "Me, Myself and Eye."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Professor X said when Cyclops whipped out his penis?

"Keep it in your Jeans"

Why should we rename the alphabet to the cyclops?

Because it only has one I.


(I made it up to entertain my four year old, but I'm still kinda of it.)

My friend was recently blinded in an horrific skiing accident...

So please comment with your best cyclops/pirate/one eyed jokes so I can simultaneously cheer him up & take the p*ss

(This aint a joke)

True

You can lead a jackass to logic but you can't make them think.

If you laid all of the world's economists end-to-end they wouldn't reach a conclusion.

It is easier to tell a book by it's cover than without it.

If God meant for humans to fly He wouldn't have created so much traffi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend invited me to go and see a freak show...

He said 'they've got all sorts; a one eyed man called the cyclops, a woman covered in scales called the lizard lady, even a man with a willy where his nose should be'

'What do they call *him*' I asked

He said 'fuck knows'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

X-men get captured.

Wolverine, Cyclops, and Magneto are captured by Mr. Sinister. As they regain consciousness they realize they are naked with their testicles in a vibranium clamp hanging from a vibranium chain that is slowly being lifted to the ceiling. As they realize they are about to be painfully suspended only by...

Why doesn't Nick Fury have a super-hero name?

Because "cyclops" was already taken.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wish there was more diversity of superheroes. We have a few female and a few black superheroes. You know what I want to see?

An FTM trans hero kicking ass with Wolverine, Cyclops, and Storm. His name can be XX-Man.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.