What did the cyclops sailor say to his captain?

Eye captain

How does a cyclops blink?

With his eyelid dumbass.

Did you know that a cyclops’ favorite winter activity is sking?

It’s like skiing, but with one “eye”

Polyphemus the cyclops learns his assaulter's name and yells to Poseidon to strike him down Poseidon asks why?

Polyphemus:
"He's O-dissing-us"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A cyclops asks his wife,

“How do you spell Hawaii?”

His wife looks down, bites her lip and replies,” well....you need two i’s.”

“My life’s a fucking joke to you...isn’t it Linda?!”

Which way does a cyclops wing their eyeliner?

It doesn’t matter because Nobody will judge them anyway!

Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Cyclops heard of the birth of Jesus and decided to pay him a visit

They had travelled many miles following a star, until they came to Bethlehem.

Finally, the found the stable wherein the tiny baby lay in a manger, watched over by his mother Mary.

They knelt before the babe and asked of his mother, "May we worship the holy child?"

Sadly she s...

Why should we rename the alphabet to the cyclops?

Because it only has one I.


(I made it up to entertain my four year old, but I'm still kinda of it.)

Why did the navy refuse to have a cyclops for a general?

They wouldn't be able to say " eye-eye sir"

Why did the cyclops quit teaching?

He had only one pupil.

Read a book about a lonely cyclops.

It's called, "Me, Myself and Eye."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did Professor X said when Cyclops whipped out his penis?

"Keep it in your Jeans"

I think quality is better than quantity...

unless you're a cyclops.

Why doesn't Nick Fury have a super-hero name?

Because "cyclops" was already taken.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My friend invited me to go and see a freak show...

He said 'they've got all sorts; a one eyed man called the cyclops, a woman covered in scales called the lizard lady, even a man with a willy where his nose should be'

'What do they call *him*' I asked

He said 'fuck knows'

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

X-men get captured.

Wolverine, Cyclops, and Magneto are captured by Mr. Sinister. As they regain consciousness they realize they are naked with their testicles in a vibranium clamp hanging from a vibranium chain that is slowly being lifted to the ceiling. As they realize they are about to be painfully suspended only by...