UPJOKE
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TIL: bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest

Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly

This guy kept trying to steal my oak bumblebee sculptures...

but I finally caught the would-be thief.

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The Jewish Samurai

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.

A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and...

A bumblebee and a honeybee meet on the corner.

The bumblebee says "Hey, little bro, how's it going?" and the honeybee says "Oh, so, so bad. It's been a horrible summer, hardly any flowers, and there's next to nothing in the hive."

"I can give you a hot tip," says the bumblebee. "Go half a block south, then fly over the house to tbe back y...

What did the sushi say to the bumblebee?

Wasabi

What did the hive of bumblebees decide to be for Halloween?

Boo-bees

What did Optimus Prime say when Bumblebee said "Nice shoes!"

Thanks, they're Vans.

Ever heard of the bumblebee who couldn't focus?

He had ADHBee

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

Two bumblebees are flying along together

One of them sees the other, and notices that theyā€™re wearing a yarmulke.

The bee asks, ā€œWhy are you wearing of of those?ā€

ā€œThis? I just donā€™t want anyone thinking Iā€™m a wasp.ā€

Whatā€™s a bumblebeeā€™s favorite wing sauce?

Pollenesian

Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are in first day of kindergarten.

Optimus (in his deep voice) : Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. What's your name?

Teacher : Be silent!!!!!

Bumblebee : umleee

What's the last thing that goes through a bumblebee's mind as it hits the car windscreen at 60mph?

Its bum

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What did the ghost say to the bumblebee?

BOO BEE!! <insert titty-twister here>

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How is a Buddhist monk and a bumblebee alike?

They are both peaceful, but when pissed off have a tendency to burn.

A bumblebee, a spelling bee and a vitamin B got in a fight

The vitamin B1

I saw a guy holding a huge bumblebee and I said "Eww! What are you holding that ugly creature for?"

Indignantly he said "It's not ugly!"

I guess beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

If Transformers are cars and cars are Transformers.

Aren't we giving Bumblebee a handjob everytime we shift gears.

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A family were...

A family were driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just a bumblebee."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could...

Mad cows

Two cows are standing in a field on a sunny day. The grass sways in waves from the summer breeze; a bumblebee slowly meanders across the meadow. One cow turns to the other.
Cow one: you know, Iā€™m really struggling. I simply canā€™t shake this anxiety.
Cow two: (looking at his companion with a l...

Two great musicians hated each other

And after years of always being compared to one another, they finally decided to have a duet of guitars to see which was the better player. They carefully selected an audience of musical experts, and with that they played.

After a fifteen minutes duet, the vote was cast. Amazingly, the result...

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A Bee in her Vagina

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumblebee entered the bedroom window.


As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina.
The woman started screaming "Oh my God, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately...

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A couple had just finished up in bed... (nsfw)

They went to go put there clothes on when all of the sudden a bumble bee flies through the window and into the girlfriends lady parts.

Girlfriend - "OH CRAP! THERE'S A BUMBLE BEE IN MY VAGINA!"

Boyfriend - "WE GOTTA GET TO THE DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY!!!! HOP IN THE CAR AND LETS GO!"

...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

The Autobots had just landed on our green planet.

Optimus tells them to go look for disguises that are suitable so that they can all adequately blend into their new home. Two hours pass and the Autobots reconvene.

Mr Prime: Do you all have suitable disguises?

Company: Yes, Mr Prime.

Mr Prime: Well then, let's see it.

The...

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