Critics say Botox is too expensive...

...but I spoke to fifty people who just paid for the treatment, and none of them looked surprised.

Why does everybody hate America so much?

Because America doesn't murder its critics.

Why did the art critics hate Monet so much?

Because he loved having spontaneous impressions.

A movie about janitors impressed critics.

Later that year the movie swept the Oscars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old one my dad used to tell...

An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day, and the agents like "good news! I got you a part in a play! It's only one line, but it's the opener and could be your big shot! Okay so the line is..

'Hark, I hear the cannons roar'..
Got that? 'Hark, I hear the cannons roar"

...

I don't know how anyone can take Putin critics seriously, with how stupid they are.

Keep in mind that these are the same people who habitually trip and fall backwards onto bullets and lock themselves in suitcases.

In order to stop accusations of racism, Trump decides to hire a Mexican immigrant

However, he doesn't feel confortable having him as an employee and calls him over in his office.

Juan: "Why you call me, jefe ?"

Trump: "You're fired!"


Juan: "Que ?! Why ?!!"


Trump: "Because....uh... Because you didn't finish high school!"

Juan: "Oh, no pro...

Swedish inventors have created cyborgs which are hard to distinguish from real humans.

Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Government of Canada is reducing the age of consent for anal sex to 16. Critics are suggesting that this is too early to be rectally penetrated, but I respectfully disagree.

As a Canadian, I wish to make it known that I heartily endorse this decision.

These are tumultuous times. Now more than ever, it is vitally important that our young people are equipped with the knowledge and experience they will need to succeed in the real world.

And nothing prepares y...

What did the critics say about Stallone's superhero movie?

It was DREDDful.

I was pretty offended when I auditioned for American idol and was told by the critics “don’t quit your day job”

But I guess the joke was on them - I’m unemployed.

Critics are comparing Aquaman to Black Panther

At first glance, the movies do appear similar. They both feature ancient sci-fi utopias hidden from the rest of the world. In each movie, theres a fight for the throne in order to stop a war. However, they are ignoring one major difference: the characters in Aquaman can swim.

Don't let the naysayers get you down, even the inventor of toilet paper had his critics...

"this is tearable" they said at first.

To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election!

It's called President Evil.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a new stage play was released that was supposed to be the #1 comedy of the year.

Unfortunately from the get go it had poor reviews frequently stating that it just wasn't that funny. The writer of the script was at a loss and was getting ready to cancel the show when his friend called.

He told him he had just watched the show and true to the reviews it was pretty terrible...

I don't agree with all the critics towards priests nowadays.

They are actually the only ones who slow down with their car when near a school.

Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...

Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong Morel fibre.

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