What is a pigeon’s favorite poem?

A hai-coo

I walked in front of my home and found a bunch of pigeons sitting around and I shoed then all off

I was afraid that they might be planing a coo

Old Scottish joke I remembered that just became relevant again...

The head greenkeeper of St Andrews golf course was out inspecting the greens one morning when he spotted a golfer bending over the stream on the 18th, scooping up water with his hand and drinking it.

'Haw', he shouted, 'Ye shouldnae drink that watter, it's got coo's pish in it!'

The go...

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

An old English gentleman walks into a diner in the USA

He sees the clients are either truckers or bikers and the place is a mess and has way more clients than they should, he sits down, asks for the menu and sees a large colorful print:

"Buy a meal and get a handjob from the coo For 10$!"

He walks into the kitchen and sees a gorgeous blon...

There is no Turkey in the coop.

But there's a coup in Turkey.

What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An attractive woman is sitting alone at the bar and sees a man with a military-style haircut sitting by himself at the other end, nursing his drink.

The woman notices that the man is looking glum and hasn't made any attempt to speak to anyone besides the barkeep. She takes a swig of liquid courage, saunters down the bar, and sits next to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you a soldier? I couldn't help but notice your haircut!" The woman ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Once upon a time, in Scotland...

A man is using his hand to scoop some water from a Scottish Highland brook. He is about to drink when he is interrupted by a local shouting a warning: “Dinnae drink thon water, mun, it’s foo o’ coo’s shite ’n’ pish.”

The man peers over at the local and calls back, “My good fellow, I’m English...

Little Johnny is trick or treating

and he’s dressed like a pirate! His outfit is top to bottom swashbuckling fun, and he’s incredibly proud of all the fine details included.

He goes to the first house, knocks on the door and when the door opens he yells “twick o tweat!”
The woman at the door fawns over him, she coos “oh...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A drunk man enters his house after a late night at the bar...

Not wanting to wake up his wife and receive a scolding from her, he decides to take off his shoes. While taking off his shoes, the Coo-coo Clocks goes off.

Coo-coo, Coo-coo, Coo-coo.

Thinking the noise will surely wake his wife, he thinks quickly and decides to extend the Coo-coo sound...

What do you call a bunch of racist birds?

The coo clucks clan.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes out with his friends for the night.

Before he leaves he tells his wife, "I promise I will be home by midnight."

Midnight comes and goes. He finally arrives home at about 3 AM. As he walks in he realizes the cuckoo clock is about to go off. As it begins to go off he has a flash of genius and decides to coo another 9 times. He sn...

I asked my pet pigeon what he thought of my new shoes

he said it was coo

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Best joke in the..

**World:**
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A gang of stray dogs is hanging out together in the local dog park...

A rottweiler, a great dane, a labrador and of course a tiny chihuahua just glad to be accepted by such high company. They're discussing the sorts of things male dogs discuss when a babelicious poodle struts herself on up. A real high breed, classy bitch.
"Hello boys," She greets, "I tell you w...

Police arrested a pigeon today.

Seems he was planning a coo.

I get concerned when a bunch of pigeons start gathering together

I worry they’re arranging a coo

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old woman asks for her neighbor's parrot..

An old woman was chatting with her next door neighbor, and when he mentioned that he was going away to college and could not take his parrot with him, she asked him what he would do with the bird.
"Ah, I'll give 'em to the pet store. Somebody else's problem."
Well this just would not do for t...

Uber

Now that Uber doesn't have a CEO, COO, CFO or CTO, they may finally qualify as a self-driving car company.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] So a man walks into a pet store, searching for a companion.

The man sees this brightly colored parrot on display, but there's a problem, the store owner tells the man. You see, this parrot's last owner was a foul-mouth, and the bird's vocabulary is crude, to say the least.

But the man is lonely, and his life is boring. The parrot might spice things ...

An Eagle goes searching for a mate.

He swoops down and picks up a loon. The loon looks up at him and coos, "I'm a loon, I'm a loon, I love to spoon."

The eagle realizes this will not work, so he kicks the loon away and finds a hawk, which immediately starts repeating, "I'm a hawk, I'm a hawk, I just want to talk."

Realiz...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A couple had only been married for two weeks.

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pre...

Pigeons...

I've just seen a flock of pigeons in army unifoms.

I think it might be a military coo.

I just read a joke from world war 1

The captain asks for a volunteer to go out in no man's land and retrieve a message that has come with a carrier pigeon. No one volunteers, except foolish Paddy. He says, "I will go for my country!". He then climbs up out of the trench, and all you hear after are bullets, grenades, bombs, etc. And ev...

Scottish man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

The Scottish man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thats full O coos Sharn ' (Don't drink the water ya fool, it's full of cow s ** t.)

The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.

The Scottish man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

An anatomical original

Thought you'd like a pun.

What sound does a pigeon make

when kicked in the nuts?

[A high coo](/spoiler)

I wrote a joke about pigeons.

Stoned pigeon poetry: High Coo

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man was having sex with his wife one night...

"Deeper... deeper..." she moaned.

The man, not having finished, pulls out and starts getting dressed. The woman is surprised and asks "What's wrong baby?"

The man snaps back, "Deeper, deeper?! How about I coo in your ear tighter, tighter!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two Statues in the Park...

A male and a female, magically come to life. They only have 24 hours of life in them, so they put it to good use.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" says the male.

"Yes..." says the female shyly. They go hand in hand behind some bushes, and there is much rustling in the branches. ...

Did you hear about the Pigeon rebellion?

Yeah, it was a "coo" d'etat.