Why did the waiter's computer system not work?

Because of a server error.

What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems?

By sending them executables.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be e...

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Hilarious, subversive memo sent to 20,000 federal employees early in computer mass-messaging age

This memo was sent out to 20,000 federal employees in my agency in the early 1990s, when federal computer systems first got mass messaging. The first incarnation of this system allowed *any employee* to mass message. Some low-level employee sent this to all. Needless to say, the agency immediatel...

His holiness the Dalai Lama

Sent an email to Xi Jinping.

Xi Jinping opened the email and clicked on the attachment.

It was malware and the Party's computer system crashed.

Xi Jinping got on the phone and angrily demanded an answer from His Holiness.

"With attachment, comes suffering", said the Dalai...

When the computers crash at work.

A wife asks her husband how his day at work went. “It was awful,” the man explains, pouring himself a stiff drink. “All of our computer systems shut down today so we had to do everything manually.”
“That sounds awful,” the wife consoles.
“You’re telling me,” he replies after a sip, “I had to k...

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The Best Diagnostician

One day a man complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I am going to see a doctor.”
His friend said, “Why don’t you try the new computer system in the hospital. It’s proven to be able to diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than any doctor. It’s incredible! You simply insert a sample of...

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