Security System Jokes

All I do is say "Hello" at 3am, sitting on the end of their bed.

Someone stole it before I got home.

If nobody's home he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table.

No fence, nun taken.

I find it pretty alarming

...just some wires sticking out of a backpack, and a copy of the Koran next to it on the drivers seat. That will ensure it never gets touched.

He became quite alarmed

The alarm system kept breaking down so, instead of repairing it I decided to get a guard dog instead.

I went to the pet store and the shopkeeper showed me a lot of breeds to choose from. A Rottweiler, a German Shepherd, A Doberman, but there was this one tiny little pug that caught my eye. I... read more

Typical alarmist.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers c... read more

An ageing prison facility is constantly beset by long queues for the shower area, which the managers decide to do something about because having all the prisoners together in one area outside of their cells might get nasty. So they look into the problem, and realise that, although the showers themse... read more

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at... read more