R. Kelly changed the rap game

He took the art out of rap artist.

People used to call me ugly in middle school, but things have changed

I'm not in middle school anymore

The band 4 Non Blondes changed their name to 3 Non Blondes...

Because the 4th one dyed.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby.

For instance my name, address and telephone number!

It's now 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing has changed.

Maybe it's time I go there personally and find out what's wrong.

Webster's dictionary recently changed the spelling of Aquarius to "Ahquarius."

This is the donning of the "h" of Ahquarius.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dominatrix was trying to improve her PR so she changed her name to Harm

One day she was getting a medical check-up and she realized she would have trouble paying her doctor. Being a sex worker, she tried to see if there was an alternative way to pay.

“Doctor, isn’t there something we can figure out?”

“I see where this is going and I appreciate the sentim...

Changed my job

Recently changed from working at a restaurant to working in a hospital. Probably should try to stop saying "We hope to welcome you again soon"

When my wife got pregnant, everything changed.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

Yesterday, I crossed a road, changed a light bulb and walked into a bar.

My life is turning into a joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy named John Hitler was tired of people bullying him for his name so he went to the federal court and changed it hoping the harassments would stop.

But Peter Hitler is still getting bullied to this day.

My girlfriend really changed after she became a vegan.

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

There once was a Roman named Vitus, he developed the first form of haircoloring. It was a sort of paste that changed his blonde hair to red. However, a side effect was incredibly bad breath.

This became known as the first confirmed case of Gingervitis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Going to the gym has changed my life. I dropped 20 pounds

On my foot. Shit’s broken and I can’t walk now.

One day, a lady named Anne wanted to change her name...

One day, a lady named Anne decided she was bored of her name and wanted to change it to Penny-Anne. That's not what I would choose, I would do something cool like Proffeser Spider Ninja, but that's why I haven't changed my name. Anyway, changing your name can be like $200, and Anne didn't have a lot...

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My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code.

Last night for example, I couldn't fall asleep, because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

I changed the name of my john to "Jim..."

So when I tell people I got up early and went to the...goddammit, nevermind.

After trying many fruits and vegetables in my kids lunch, their favourite by far was sliced cucumber.

I don’t know if it was our source, or our fridge, but they only really stayed fresh for a few days. This meant that at least twice a week I was stopping at the corner grocery store to just grab a couple cucumbers.

After a couple months it became obvious that I kept buying them from the same c...

Why hasn't America changed from lbs to kgs?

Because there would be mass confusion.

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I changed the ringtone for my Ex-wife to an old modem dialup sound

Nostalgic, brings great memories but Holy Hell I don't want that 52Kbps piece of shit back in my life.

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A guy named John Asshole goes to the courthouse change his name

The judge asks him: "What's your name?"

John was a ashamed of saying it out loud so he wrote his name down and passed it to the judge

The judge holds his laugh and asks him "Well, obviously your name must be changed. What name do you prefer to be called from now on, sir?"

"Mark ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My life has drastically changed for the better since I started eating more fiber

It really helped me get my shit together.

As a kid, I wasn't ever able to do a pull-up. As an adult, that all changed.

Now I can pull up to McDonalds whenever I want.

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