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Changed Jokes

When my girlfriend got pregnant everything changed

My address, my phone number..

Alabama changed the drinking age to 34

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code

Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street, and walked into a bar.

My life is a joke.

My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...

it's like I've never seen herbivore.

The US Supreme Court has changed dramatically since Justice Ginsberg passed away.

It has become Ruth less.

I changed the tags of my mother’s herb jars. She hasn’t notice it yet..

But the thyme is cumin

How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Trump says it’s changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ...

I changed my password

It’s now “incorrect” so when you type the password it will say it’s the incorrect password

Haha hackers lose

It's now 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing has changed.

Maybe it's time I go there personally and find out what's wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 3-year-old is watching his mum get changed...

As she drops her knickers, he points at her crotch and asks: "Mum, what is that?!"

Panicking, the mother quips "Oh, that's... that's where god hit me with an axe..."

"Phwoar" Says the boy... "Right in the cunt!"

There are a pair of twins called Ving and Ling. Ving decided to go to the town hall to change his name. Ling decided to give him a lift there. When they arrived Ling reminded Ving that he would disgrace their family if he changed his name to Lee.

Ving takes a form and quickly fills it out to change his name. He sends off the form, but immediately starts to regret it. He is told that to revoke his form he must pay a small fee. Ling takes out her purse and is about to hand over the money when suddenly…
A man, their father, bursts through th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I changed my gmail password to “my dick”

But google said it was too short.

Did you know they changed the word snake to essential

And people started buying the oils again.

After playing racquetball at the gym, two guys hit the shower and were getting changed...

and the first guy was putting on a bra. The second guy looked surprised and asked "How long have you been wearing a bra?" The first guy answers "Ever since my wife found it under the bed".

My friend Susan identifies as a man and changed his name yesterday.

Susan be Anthony.

Imagine if the rest of the world changed from Kilograms to Pounds overnight

There would be a mass confusion

R Kelly changed the rap game

He took the art out of Rap Artist

What's the one thing that changed the way you see the world?

For me it was glasses

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