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Centaur Jokes

There's a centaur walking around in a hazmat suit.

He's from the Centaurs for disease control.

I bought a new boat and it's the best, except it's shaped like a centaur.

Great horsemanship.

A Centaur walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him "So, why the long face?"

I'm half horse...the wrong half.

According to Greek Mythology, Chiron was a half-human, half-horse doctor.

This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.

What did King Midas say to the young centaur?

Stay gold, ponyboy

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Why did the centaur never get a singing career?

He was a bit hoarse.

A thirsty man comes to a bar, but the bouncer is a centaur and won't let him in.

The centaur says, "This bar is for hybrid creatures only. For example, my father was a man and my mother was a horse. I just let in a griffin because his father was a lion and his mother was an eagle."

The man thinks fast and says, "OK, then let me in. My father was the Minotaur, and my mothe...

I'd never hire a centaur.

I've heard they tend to do half assed jobs.

Two Centaurs

Two centaurs are playing rough and things getting heated. Are they man-handling each other or just horsing around?

The centaur didn't want to settle down with just one mate

He was ponyamorous.


Inb4 comment: He liked the hores

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What do you call a centaur that works as a prostitute?

A whorse.

So a centaur walks into a bar

The bartender says, "Hey, how's the sore throat?"

The centaur replies, "My throat isn't horse but my legs are."

What do you get if you cross a human and a centaur?

A Quarter Horse.

Why did no one believe a word the centaur said?

They thought it was satyr.

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Centaur sex:

Putting the semen in horsemen.

I got pretty sick last week, and then a centaur showed up!

He said he was the Centaur for Disease Control.

So with the popularity of the recent centaur joke, I was going to make a joke about a half-man, half-goat.

I decided against it... it wasn't very fauny anyway.

First attempt at writing a joke!

I started a new job this week.

On my first day it was my co-worker Frank's birthday; we gathered around his desk to sing happy birthday and share a cake.

Just as we finished singing the office door slammed open.

In strides a creature: upper body of a man, lower body of a hors...

Where do centaurs shop for clothes?

Topman.

My Tinder Date's profile said she wasn't like other girls. Tall and long-legged, she liked rough horseplay and giving guys the ride of their lives.

I wasn't expecting her to be a centaur, but I think we can make this work.

What do you call a talkative man-horse?

The centaur of attention.

Lately I've been feeling a little invisible and have decided that to get noticed, I will have my legs removed and replaced with a horse's body...

...That way, wherever I go, I will be the centaur of attention.

A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender asks, “Are you singing karoake tonight?”
Horse replies, “Neigh, I don’t like being the centaur of attention.”

Where does a half-man, half- horse play tennis at Wimbledon?

Centaur Court

My friend looked me dead in the eyes and went "Imagine if you were half horse."

"You would be the centaur of attention."

Where does a person end and a horse start?

At the centaur.

Used to know this guy who always tried to draw attention to the fact he was half-horse.

Never could stop being the centaur of attention.

I feel like a man trapped in a horse's body.

It sucks being a centaur.

Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actual...

A man and a woman are out to dinner at a fancy restaurant

Right around when the appetizers they hear a loud sound like galloping hooves on the marble floor.

They both turn to see a half-man half-horse jogging around the restaurant

Eventually it stops running and stands at attention.

They stare

A loud trumpet sounds and the Head ...

I read about this figure from Greek Mythology, Chiron.

He trained many heroes apparently, and was also a doctor. Ergo he was a Centaur for disease control.

That half man, half horse...

Did you hear about the half man, half horse causing a ruckus downtown last night? He was kicking over trash cans, yelling at people, just going crazy. The cops finally showed up, calmed him down, and asked "Why are you doing this?" Apparently he wanted to be the centaur of attention.

In Greek mythology, Chiron was known for his knowledge and skill with medicine

One could even call him the Centaur for Disease Control.

He was a big believer in herd immunity.

Scientists have discovered a new creature.

The creature resembles a centaur from the legends and it seems to be always receiving a lot of attention from other animals and plants.

Tldr: it's a Centaur of attention.

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One liners

What is it about half men half horses? They always have to be centaur of attention Who here like fisting virgins? I'll be the first to put my hand up What did the shepherd's wife say to the shepherd? "You herd!" It wasn't until I stuck my dick up my arse that I finally came into myself

D&D character name

I'm going to make a half man half horse cleric and name it centaur for disease control

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