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Catnip Jokes

I ate catnip today.

I enjoyed it, but the cat sure didn't.

After four months of sobriety, my cat relapsed and started doing catnip again...

The worst kind of nip-slip.

Three cats are hanging out one evening just shooting the breeze.

The first one says, “I really like milk.” The second one chimes in “I couldn’t agree more. There’s nothing quite like a good bowl of milk.” The third cat says, “I don’t know - I hear that water is better to drink than milk and costs less too.”

The first cat says, “OK, but I’m sure we all a...

I found a substance that works like catnip, except only for Chinese bears

I'd release it, but that would cause pandamoanium.

What do you call it when an addict cat relapses on catnip?

A nip slip 😃

When you put catnip in a scratching board to encourage cats to scratch it, you think it’s cute when they use it.

But I would think that from their point of view, it’s more like a crack addict that dropped a rock through a grate and is trying to get it back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

me catfishing

Me: I'm going catfishing

friend: no

Me: I want pussy

friend:don't play with people

Me: \*putting catnip on a hook\* what

Weed isn't a drug.

It's catnip for humans.

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