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Careened Jokes

A bus full of nuns careened off a cliff

They all parished

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A software engineer.

A software engineer, hardware engineer, and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing off guardrails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along...

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Golf humor

A man in his mid-twenties entered a confessional, made the sign of the cross, and announced, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It's been three years since my last confession.” The priest replied, “What is your sin, my child?”
“Well,” the young man began, “I used profane language and I feel ter...

An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat.

The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right,
and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the
floor.

Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said, "If you put a
little rubber cap on the end of your cane, you ...

Here's a joke about a terrible cable car operator

So there was this man who had only one ambition in his life: he wanted to live in San Francisco and drive cable cars. So he moved there, and studied, and took a test to become a cable car driver. He failed. Studied some more, took the test again. Again he failed. Finally, on the third attempt, he pa...

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There was once a rabbi who loved to play golf.

He loved it so much he could not bear not to play for more than a few days and was beggining to get addicted.

One year, on Yom Kippur - the day of atonement and the holiest of all high Jewish holidays, the rabbi thought to himself, "What's it going to hurt if I go out during the recess and ...

A priest, a thief, and an engineer were all waiting in line to be executed by guillotine during the French revolution.

The priest was to be the first to meet his fate. As he stepped onto the platform the executioner asked him "Father, would you like to meet your maker face up or face down?"

After thinking about it for a moment, the priest answered "My son, if today is to be my last day, then I wish to go face...

A mechanical engineer, an electronics engineer and a software engineer where testing a new automobile..

Going down a hill the brakes started to fail. They careened down the hill at speed, screeching round the corners, narrowly missing cliff faces and sheer drops, and finally coming to a halt by steering up a grassy bank.



"Phew, that was close", said the electronics engineer, "I've got a...

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Murphy...

...had had a very rough life. He was orphaned at the age of four, and was physically abused at every foster home he lived in. When he made it to high school, he was determined to study hard and make something of himself. But he was a sickly boy, and missed so much school that he didn't graduate.<...

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Dave is constantly bragging to everyone at work that he knows everyone in the world.

Eventually, his boss has had enough of his shit, and tells Dave to prove it. So, Dave says "sure, name someone, and I'll prove to you that I know them." After a minute of thinking, the boss suggests Tom Cruise, and so off they go to see him.

Once they arrive at Cruise's house, Dave knocks on...

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Three explorers are in Egypt (long)

and they stumble upon some old ruins. In the ruins they find a big room, with three doors. The first explorer, Henry, goes up to the door and reads: "Who ever enters this door will die a fiery death." He doesn't believe in superstitions, so he goes through the door to find a long hallway. At the end...

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