This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Well, there was this tiger who woke up one morning, and just felt great

(yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT).

Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
And this poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."

A...

A guy was meeting his friend in the bar

As he walked in, he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, "Nine." Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. "Sorry to spoil your evening," said his frie...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The fastest thing in the world

Three old rednecks were sitting in their favorite bar. They'd been drinking for awhile when they started a lively debate on what the fastest thing in the world could be.

The first redneck says, "Well, I think the fastest thing in the world is thinking. 'Cause I can think 'bout a million thoug...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A mouse took a stroll through the deep dark wood

(the African jungle, in fact) and was surprised to hear a strange noise coming from a nearby clearing. Peeping out from between the trees, he saw a female elephant weeping in distress, so he swaggered up to her and said "It's okay, chill, I'm not gonna hurt you."

And the elephant looked dow...

Girl on the tracks

Greaser Bob swaggered up to his favourite bar, and called for a beer.

As the bartender reached for a fresh glass, he observed: โ€œYou look pleased with yourself, Greaser Bob. Did you win the lottery?โ€

Greaser Bob said: โ€œOn my way home from here last night, I had to cross the railway, ...

The presidents of Serbia, Mexico and the United States were each granted the ability to ask God one question...

The Serbian president first went up to God , and asked, "Father, when will my country finally be rid of poverty and corruption?

God paused, and then answered, "In 300 years, my son."

The Serbian president began to weep, "I won't live to see that day!"

Next the Mexican president ...

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