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A man comes home visibly irritated.

His wife notices and asks if something is wrong.

He shakes his head.

"C'mon. Talk to me" she says.

He takes a moment to steady himself. "It's just that..." he pauses again, and takes a deep breathe. "Well, first of all, last night when you were telling me about your day?"
...

I'm writing a book to help surgeons to use Eastern meditation to overcome anxiety in the operating theatre...

I'm going to call it *The Calmer Suture.*

After losing at the European Championships to The Czechs, Dutch fans were said to be blazing

Meaning twenty minutes later they were a lot calmer and just craving chips.

A young man moves into a new house...

Everything is going well, however, in one room, from under the floorboard, rowdy carpenter ants come crawling out.


The young man asks his neighbor what to do.


His neighbor informs him that this ant infestation can only be quelled by other ants; if you get well-behaved ants an...

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The Girlfriend Joke

Now, I need to caveat the beginning of this joke with some information. I'm a solid six-outta-ten, a real average looking guy. Never been too smooth wirth the ladies but whaddaya do, never been lonely neither.
So, one day I come home from work, I live in a little apartment complex, and I see acro...

Apparently Boy George has...

... a pet lizard that bites people up to 5 times a day.

He needs a calmer chameleon

A man is looking for a job in the news paper

A man is looking for a job in the news paper and he finds an ad for a donut shop, he applies and almost immediately gets the job.

On his first day he walks in the manager shoves him an apron and says

"all you have to do is sell donuts at the counter"

The man nods his head, pu...

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Johnny was driving along the highway.

Johnny was driving along the highway. Midway through his journey, nature called out to him. Cursing his fate, he looked around for a place to relieve himself. Just then, he spotted a small road side motel. He quickly entered to finish his business. To Johnny's dismay, all the the restrooms in the es...

People say the mean sea level is going down.

I agree, the sea is much calmer these days.

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A shy woman decides to have surgery

She wants to have surgery to remove her large vaginal lips which have always made her self conscious. She finds a doctor and schedules the procedure but swears him to secrecy. "No one can ever know" she admonishes, and he agrees. After the anesthesia wears off she awakes to find three roses on her ...

A Newly Wed Chinese Couple Go on Their Honeymoon

They get to the hotel late. The bride is visibly nervous and the groom is patiently and lovingly trying to reassure her.

He says "You don't need to worry about anything. Anything you want, I do for you."

Feeling a bit calmer she inquisitively looks at him and says "anything?"

"A...

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Coffee and a Blowjob.

A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the lucky passengers on board a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during our recent hurricane “Bob”. The captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same – rough enough that the flight at...

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Catching a huge SOB

So a young catholic preist moves to a new city. Once he's there, settled in, he gives a sermon, and at the end informs his congregation that he'd really like to get to know them all a little more personally, and if they ever want to have dinner, or play chess or see a movie he'd welcome the opportun...

A new craze sweeps an Eastern European nation

Though Transylvania is mostly rivers and mountains, a new outdoor sport is achieving newfound popularity. Folks have been flocking to the calmer parts of the Olt and Danube to try out for a crew, the competitive paddling fad usually found in lakes. In fact, the sport has spread from the region to th...

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