(For my Aussies out there) What do you call a burnt down Woolworths?

Coles/Coals!

Not a joke but a real incident that happened to an indian acquaintance of mine when he moved to Australia for higher studies..

So he comes out of the airport and gets into the cab.

The Aussie cab driver asked where he is from ?

He replied 'India '.

The cab driver asked ' So did you come to die?'

He froze as it was the times when there were racial attacks by white Aussies on people of indian des...

Americans tend to think us Aussies are all dumb...

But atleast we get our weather information from meteorologists and not groundhogs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aussies dont have sex

They MATE

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[for the Aussies & cricket fans] A guy goes to the doctor...

...Doctor: what’s the matter?

Patient: doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my ass (arse for the Aussies)

Doctor: how’s that?

Patient: don’t you start

Brits, Aussies, and Kiwis will most likely only get this:

Remember Bill and Ben, The Flowerpot Men?

One day, Bill says to Ben, "Flobadobglibglobbloobleglob!"

And Ben say, "If you loved me, you'd swallow that....."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. It concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower:



Mongrel, Coot and Bluey .

As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.

Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensiti...

An Englishman, an Aussie and a Scotsman are at a bar

An Englishman, an Aussie and a Scotsman are at a bar, all having a beer.

A fly lands in the Englishmans beer, he pushes the beer away with a look of disgust and orders a new one.

A few minutes later another fly lands in the Aussies beer. He flicks the fly out and continues drinking....

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