I got banned from Olive Garden for eating too much breadsticks

“*how many did you eat?**”
“Olive them.”

A guy goes to an Indian restaurant and orders some breadsticks

The waiter said they had naan

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

Breaking Bad Joke

Walter: Hi Skyler, got us some breadsticks and pizza

Skyler: How much do I owe you.

Walter: It’s on the house.

A boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to their first prom

He is very nervous, and his father notices as he’s getting ready. His father quickly tries to help ease his son, “don’t worry, you’ll be fine. You’re good looking, you get that from your mom.” The boy stops, eyes wide, and turns to face his father,

“Wait, IM ADOPTED?!?!?!”

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