UPJOKE
event horizonmasssolar massspacetimebinary starneutron starblack bodymilky wayquasarmatterelectric chargeno-hair theoremtemperaturestephen hawkinginky

Black Holes Jokes

What do vegan black holes say?

"I'm on a strictly planet based diet"

Black holes are like punchlines

You don't see them coming.

What did the black holes say when they collided?

Nothing, they just waved.

(Sorry)

A guy tells me that black holes aren't frightening

But I don't think he understands the gravity of the situation here.

Why are black holes so popular at parties?

Because they bring everyone together.

What are denser than black holes?

Flat earthers

People keep talking about black holes

I guess they have a lot of mass appeal.

Why do all planets want to date black holes?

Because they're so attractive!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's common between assholes and black holes?

They both suck duhh.

Why don't black holes get good grades ?

They aren't bright enough.

Two black holes have a rendezvous.

Turns one to the other and says "Do you find me attractive?"

A Black Hole Conundrum

I understand that people are attracted to black holes, but I don't know how they see anything in them.

Why are black holes fascinating objects in the universe?

Once you go black, you never go back.

Three scientists were awarded the Nobel Prize for their work on black holes. The Trump Administration immediately objected

and said that research would should be directed towards white holes as well.

What do Black Holes and the Catholic Church have in common?

They both have a lot of mass that you cannot escape!

How do you show your appreciation towards black holes?

Thanks for nothing!

We need more jokes about the black hole

Said no one ever

Did you hear the news about the collision between two black holes?

It's really making waves.

The heaviest things in the universe

3 - Neutron stars

2 - Black holes

1 - The collective weight of the people who thought this was a yo momma joke

Did you hear the latest news from black holes?

​Nothing has come out

With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.

He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."

Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Stephan Hawking's favorite porn genre?

Ebony. The dude loves black holes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the astrophysicist so into ebony porn?

Because he's spent his life looking for black holes.

Today I pulled a key off my keyboard [long]

Today I pulled one of the CTRL keys from my keyboard and was shocked to find myself looking down at the entire universe: stars planets, black holes, the whole thing was right there beneath my keyboard.

I was so shocked I called a friend in to show her. After five minutes of gazing into total...

My boy asked me what the pictures from space were yesterday.

I told him they're black holes, son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neil DeGrasse Tyson made a porno.

It’s called “Neil DeGrasse Tyson explores black holes”

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.