Bono from U2 says he's given up on alternative search engines like Bing and will just use google from now on.

He still hasn't found what he's looking for

I’m binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won’t let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.

Those are only available on Amazon Prime.

Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang"

I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."

Not gonna lie, if Amazon and Bing Converged

It'd Be Amazing.

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"Hey girl, are you bing?"

"Because i want to use you for porn and then forget all about you"

Bill Gates: "Why don't you tell me why Bing failed"

Bill gates: So why don't you tell me why Bing failed.

Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.

Bill gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do I, after a week of game binging, have in common with a hardcore anal porn actress/actor ?

It's a pain in the ass afterwards, and I have to learn to walk again.

Guy asks the CEO of Bing what Bing stands for

The CEO replies

Bing
Is
Not
Google

If life is like chandler bing then 2020 is the year with Janice !

People have never said “Oh my god “ so many times in a year.

A guy from Jersey bought a search engine and some fireworks.

He bought-a-bing and bought-a-boom

For the last couple of weeks i've been unable to stop singing songs by Tony Bennet, Nat king Cole, Perry Como and Bing crosby. After a while it all got too much so I went to see my doctor.

Apparently i have crooner virus!

What's the most searched word on Bing?

Google

I’m binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons

Guess it’s some sort of running joke

What do you get when you put a bomb in a bada-Bing?

Bada-Bing-bada-boom!

Searching on Bing is like asking a woman how old she is.

The result will be 10 years out of date, you will feel harrassed, and you will be more confused than when you started.

I used Bing to search something the other day.

That's it. That's the whole joke.

IamA Bing search engine AMA

Please. Just ask me something.

What do you call a 2020 binge of the Kill Bill movies?

Rentin' Quarantino

Why did the Twizzler go binge drinking?

It was feeling liquor-ish

Why do some people prefer Bing to Google?

\(B\)ecause \(I\)t's \(N\)ot \(G\)oogle.

Why couldn't Bing start a fire?

No matches founds

I went shopping the other day for cherries and a new microphone.

Bought a BING, bought a BOOM

Most people browse on Google or Bing...

But I browse on fleek

After binge watching CNN, fox, and msnbc - simultaneously - for nearly two days - a man decided he would hang himself in protest of the media's lack of integrity...

Thankfully was unsuccessful. The rope broke.

He probably would be dead right now if not for that fake noose.

Some old college friends asked if I still binge drink

I said I couldn't even remember the last time I blacked out

What do you call an alcoholic on a two week binge?

Fired.

Italian Computer Repair shop

Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop, the computer explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it brief" so I said "Bad-a-Bing, Bad-a-boom!"

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If a girl with big boobs works at Hooters, where does a girl with one leg work?

IHOP!

---
I've been binging TAHM.

What did Snoop say Dr. Dre while binge watching their favorite TV show?

Are you ready for the next episode?

I only have two new years resolutions. One: to lose the weight I gained since the accident.

Two: stop referring to last year's junk food binge as 'the accident'

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An anti-semite goes to a bar

An anti-semite is drinking in a bar. He notices a Jew sitting at a table nearby and doesn't like it.
"Bartender!" he says, nodding at the Jew, "A round of the good stuff for everyone except him!"
Everyone happily receives a glass of premium scotch.
The [anti-semite!](http://www.afterfeed.co...

My Mom's favorite joke

There was a woman named Betty Lou, whose life had recently fallen into a downward spiral of horrible luck. She had been laid off after working for the same company for several years. She began binge eating to cope, and as a result become terribly overweight. This made it more difficult for her to ac...

A blonde wants to make some money

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to control population ?

Google: Use a Condom

Bing: \*Cocks Gun\*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I caught my son googling really sketchy porn sites, and I was completely heartbroken.

We are strictly a Bing family.

3 things parents don't want their daughter to say...

I am pregnant.

I am doing drugs.

Bing is a reliable searching platform.

A priest is riding on a city bus when...

A priest is riding on a city bus when a drunk gets on and sits next to him. He obviously hasn't had a bath while on this binge. The drunk starts reading a newspaper, then puts it down and says, " Hey, Father, what do you think causes arthritis?". The priest is quite annoyed with this guy, and sharp...

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panda

So this panda is tired of hanging around the zoo and decides one night, when his cage is accidently left open, that he's going to do what people do.

Being after dark, he's heads to the bar for some good 'ol fashion binge drinkin'

So this panda bear is sitting at the bar drinking some b...

What do you call a mafioso with internet problems

A disconnected guy



bada bing bada boom

A lady walks into a perfumery and asks for the perfumer for his finest fragrance.

"Doobie woobie blue bop", says the perfumer.

Confused she looks around and notices that all of the bottles on the shelves are empty. "Do you keep them in the back?" she asks

"Flim flam flibidy blam", says the perfumer.

The lady sniffs the air, then looks at him strangely and as...

A son goes up to his dad one morning

He says”I’m starting a search service!” His dad, impressed, goes “That’s a great idea! Just look how well companies like Google and Bing are doing!” The son replies “Oh no dad, not that type of search engine. I’ll find things around the house for you. For example, five dollars, I’ll find your readin...

A new redditor comes to r/jokes

"Welcome!" Exclaims r/jokes.

"Hi," says the redditor, "tell me a funny joke please."

"Alright. Let me see what i can find." Replys r/jokes before heading off

While the redditor waits they, binge the entirety of Game of Thrones, watch the entire extended directors cut of...

I bought this old Russian car from a guy down the street from me... Little did I know it was fitted with a bomb and warning sound.

The explosion was like Lada-bing, Lada-Boom.

What's the difference between Disney and Crosby

Bing sings but Walt Disney

Bill Gates is having a conversation with Paul Allen.

Bill: "How come Bing failed?"

Paul: "Well, let me Goo..."

Bill: "Never mind."

Turns out google is selling your personal data

Bing if true.

I had plans to get together with a buddy of mine who's a clock hobbyist, but he never showed up.

When I asked him where he was he said he was busy binge watching.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man named Ted is unable to put alcohol down.

His thirst for liquor is unquenchable. All he does every day is drink and drink. Rum, tequila, beer, vodka, he has it all. Doesn't matter how it tastes or looks; he'll down it.

At first it started out at a simple party at Dominc's place. His best bud, Bob, invited him so he couldn't say no. P...

What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when they see it?

the microwave goes Bing.

Coming in 2019: a new interactive Netflix experience that shows what happens to society when all crimes are legal, and the entire thing is available live streaming. The series you can't miss, it's...

Binging and Purging

Why don't Italians like Jehova's Witnesses?

They don't like ANY witnesses! Bada-Bing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob goes to the doctor with a bump on his forehead.

He says to the doctor, "I got this red lump. What do you think?"
The doc runs a few tests and comes back looking flabbergasted.
"Bob this is incredible..."
"What is it?! Am I going to be okay?"
"It's like a ufo. I've only ever read about it but you never actually see one, this is amazin...

Two cellmates in an asylum decide to escape

So they wait until midnight, when everyone is asleep, and start. They grab their bedsheets and tie them end-to-end to make a rope. Soon, though, they realize that they're on the top floor, and that they wouldn't have enough rope to climb down to the ground. Then, one of them gets an idea. He says "H...

Who's the most forgettable Disney/Pixar character?

Bing-Bong

I’ve been trying to watch how much I drink

I call it binge-watching

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yay for bar jokes!

A bartender is bored at work, as it is a slow night. There are far fewer customers than usual, and he still has another two hours before close. One of his patrons is quite drunk, but running low on money. The drunk man says "Hey barkeep! If you give me a free drink, I will recite all 50 states back...

Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two-tyred.

Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom.

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