Armchairs Jokes - 6 Hilarious Armchairs Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two residents of an old folks home fall in love…..

June and Freddy. And they adore each other but they are too old and weak for sex. So the way they show affection is that each evening, June visits Freddy in his room, they sit side by side in their armchairs, and June just holds Freddy’s penis in her hand while they watch TV. That’s their love life ...

This morning a man in the street offered me a sofa and two armchairs.

I said, “My mother told me I’m not allowed to take suites from strangers”.

i came home yesterday with 2 armchairs and a sofa that a kind man gave me in the park

my dad got angry at me for taking suites from strangers

A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs.

He started to panic and thought to himself, "What on earth have I done?"

He began to ponder, "How am I going to bring back my beloved family?" So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loaded ...

There are these three older gentlemen in their club....

...somewhere in the West End of London, and it's the late 1920s or so. They're sitting in the Chesterfield armchairs, drinking their beakers of port, smoking cigars, and generally chatting about life, and the conversation circles round to the great inevitable, and they start to wonder how they want...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A visit to the pope

A man walks into the barber's and says "I don't mind what you do so long as it looks smart, I'm going to see the pope".

"Oh not the pope! He's done nothing for the faith. I went to see him a while ago and he never even appeared. They said he wasn't feeling well. Pathetic if you ask me, lett...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.